"Deeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Coach Schwartz, now you know we here at FSD have only the utmost respect for your amazing transformation of the Detroit Lions from hapless 0-16 pussy cats to 1-6 diseased stray cats. Impressive is the only word that comes to mind, but it feels inadequate at this moment in time. But, you seem like a straight shooter so let us not beat around the pubes: Are you going to fucking play Calvin Johnson this week or what?
Listen, man: your team sucks. What competitive advantage do you think you are gaining over your upcoming opponent (read: victor) in the coming week by keeping Calvin Johnson's status a secret? The only choice that the Seahawks have is to prepare as if Calvin Johnson were playing. Why? Because he's the only fucking weapon you have! What, you think Coach Mora is just going to give his cornerbacks the week off until he knows for sure if the Ancient Chinese Secret will be suiting up or not?
Jesus man, the only people that you're confusing (and killing) with this charade, are the millions of fantasy owners across the country that own right rights to one Megatron. So do each and everyone of us a favor, and just stop kidding yourself. There's clearly no playoff picture in your future, but there very well fucking could be for us, so long as we know that we should be starting Housh over Caljon this Sunday.
Dickhead.
