The Reds Invade the Jersey Shore

Hey Pauly man, I don't know about this new guy... Looks like a stinking commie rat to me.


I hear that, Vinny.  I mean I love the Red Devils as like a team, you know, but I don't know about bringin' in any actual red devils.


I think he's cute.


Shutup, Snooki, you filthy howuh!

All right, that's enough of that.  Partly because we've already dabbled in this character play a couple of time this week, also because this is no laughing matter, and mainly because I don't watch this sorry excuse for television entertainment, primarily because I'm not retarded and well, I got better shit to waste my time on.

The real story?  Kovalchuk was finally moved last night, and the New Jersey Devils of all teams, effectively ending the season/Stanley Cup hopes for a number of teams, including the Kings, Bruins, Flames, Flyers, and of course, Thrashers, to name a few.  Apparently 7 years is just too long to wait in between Stanley Cups for the formerly defense-heavy Devils.

You know what?  I don't even want to talk about it anymore.

Here are Kovalcuk's stats:

31 Goals
27 Assists
+1 rating
22 Minutes on Ice avg.
18,355,651 broken hearts.

Can the Devils sign to soon-to-be free agent to the long-term contract that Kovy is looking for?  Who gives a shit.  Hockey sucks.