Better Know a Contender. PERIOD

The right to own a gun is largely framed in terms of self-defense measures.  I have a right to protect my family and so I should be allowed to have a gun in my possession.  Sounds fair enough.  But what it leaves out is that guns are not defensive weapons.  An alarm system is a defensive weapon.  Guns were created to kill.  Not to kill intruders with, but to intrude with.  Take what is needed, and be on your way.  A store clerk can have a gun behind the counter, but if the bandit has a gun in his face already, then that gun is staying where it's been all along and the money in the register is going out the door.  Even if the bandit's gun is not loaded or is even a fake, fear is induced and the first step toward victory is achieved.

Go on...

Why Hockey is Better than Your Favorite Sport

We- Got- Ovech-kin (Clap. Clap. Clap Clap Clap)



The Russian Machine knows no limits. What is important about this goal, besides the fact that it is something of sheer brilliance, is that at any point, Ovechkin could have had a shoulder slammed right into his grille, robbing him of some brain cells and probably some teeth as well. And this would have been well within the rules. But, he's too fast, strong, and skilled for this to happen.

I'm gonna go change my undies now...

Better Know A Hockey Team

Over the next few weeks, we hope to string together a few team profiles for this year's Stanley Cup "contenders", A) because what else are we supposed to do with our time and B) you need to know this information so that when the Stanley Cup playoffs do start you can enjoy them even more. Next up!


Team Ovechkin

The Washington Capitals have to be considered a serious contender for this year's Stanley Cup not only because the Bruins are floundering at the worst possible time, but because of the sheer firepower that this team brings to the table. They're like a mature Blackhawks team, that can score at anytime, but doesn't have any letup. The Caps appear to have adopted the Red Wings model that seems to have been so successful over the years. Young scorers (OV and Semin), crafty verterans (Nylander), and lots of Russians (Kozlov and Federov). Seems to be working out pretty well for them so far.

This year the Caps are in a similar spot to last year. Currently slotted as the third-seed in the Eastern Conference, with lots of goals scored and lots of goals allowed. However, this year the everyone on the team seems to be a little hungrier. Maybe it's because everyone is a little older, maybe it's because everyone is starting to believe that Ovechkin is 'The One.' Who the fuck knows, but I hardly doubt this team loses in the first-round once again.

Why they are Contenders: The Capitals are a pure offensive force. Plain and simple. They put up numbers, and their Power Play is devastating (24.4% of the time, they score). Also, these guys have been playing together for a while since, apparently, no one drafts like the Capitals do. The team's top 4 scorers were ALL drafted by the Capitals. This is impressive considering how often the players are traded before they even make it to the show. However, it also means a lot in terms of team chemistry, which the Capitals appear to have plenty of.

Why Caps fans should be nervous: Because they're pretty bad pathetic on the penality-kill. Teams score every 5th power play against the Caps, and in the playoffs this is considerable. Also, one had to wonder about the team's durability against bigger and stronger "finesse" teams in the playoffs. While the Capitals have had success against teams like the Bruins and the Devils, they have struggled against the Flyers, a team that Caps' fans might recall from last season. Also, I don't think anyone can be in love with this team's goaltending, with GA averages being up close to 3, when better hope the Caps can find some stout defense come playoff time.

Players to watch:

Alexander Semin - He's only 21 years old, but he's already better at hockey than you have ever been anything. He gets goals and assists, and puts it in the net on about every 5th shot. If this young man can stay fresh for the playoffs, then he has the potential to cause defense lots of problems... Not that they didn't already have them with that other guy always being on the ice.

Mike Green - Another young stud, Mike Green leads all defensemen in points scrored this season. Watching him while on the ice, one might forget that he's a defesenmen, seeing as he is not overly large, and mainly because of the way he handles the puck and continuously attacks the net. However, what will determine the fate of the Capitals is whether or not Mike Green can get the puck out if his own end, rather than putting in the back of the net at the other end.

That Other Guy - You can't miss him. Oh and by the way, he has over 400 shots this season... 400! Just thought I would say it again. He's the best player in hockey and will be for a long time. And unlike Gretzky, this guy can take care of himself. He's faster than everyone, and probably stronger than most. And I hate him for it.

Clips of the season:

This guy can't even be stopped in his own end:

A boon for all pre-existing stereotypes:

Hockey is STILL Better than Your Favorite Sport

So, Deadspin kind of forced my hand here a little bit, but it was my fucking idea first! Since I'm one of the 6 or so people in the United States that actually watched the game last night (outside of those in attendance), I'm going to take credit for discovering it.

Yes, this is going to be a recurring segment, and yes you will learn to love it. Just like you will learn to love the game of hockey, too. I'm already salivating over the playoffs... Is that weird? Anyway, enjoy the game's best player being well, the game's best player.