Better Know a Hockey Team

Over the next few weeks, we hope to string together a few team profiles for this year's Stanley Cup "contenders", A) because what else are we supposed to do with our time and B) you need to know this information so that when the Stanley Cup playoffs do start you can enjoy them even more. Next up!


The Chicago Blackhawks:

As one the NHL's famed "Original Six", the Chicago Blackhawks are an organization steeped in both tradition, and ineptitude. Once a foundation of the Chicago sports landscape and owners of three Stanley Cup titles (the last coming in 1961), most of the last two generations of hockey fans likely associate the Blackhawks with not simply consistent losing, but total alienation of a once proud, vibrant, volatile and steadfast fanbase. The phrase "Remember the Roar" is not simply rhetoric or alliteration, but a nostalgic cry to days of yore, when the old Chicago Stadium would rock-and-roll through the grace, power and speed of the likes Bobby Hull, Stan Mikita, Tony Esposito, Jeremy Roenick, Chris Chelios, et.al. You know... instead of the days when every Hakws home game was blacked out in the city of Chicago, an feat still posthumously credited to the appropriately nick-named Bill(Fold) Wirtz (R.I.P...kinda).

But enough with the melodramatics. Realistically, anyone reading this blog probably most associates the Blackhawks with a.) Jeremy Roenick's otherworldly triple-deke-spin-move on NHL '97 for the Sega Genesis, and for his ability to make Lil Wayne's head bleed. Or b.) Last season's short-lived and hotly-debated Savardian plea to the fans to "Commit to the Indian":

Why they are Contenders: Barring injury, utter collapse or the chicken pox, the Hawks will enter the playoffs as the #4 seed in the Western Conference. Thanks to a commitment to youth through the draft (and I mean, YOUTH) combined with an influx of savvy veteranship, the 2009 Blackhawks are not only a good hockey team, but a fun hockey team. They boast two of the most exciting, elite, and prepubescent scorers in the NHL today, and a potentially stonewallish goaltender tandem. When the Blackhawks win, they're scoring goals in bunches, attacking on the man-advantage, and generally demoralizing their opponent with speed and skill. It doesn't hurt to have an experienced sage like Joel Queenville behind the bench, a man this young team was forced to rally behind when their mentor and Hawk legend, Denny Savard, was removed after 2 weeks. The off-season additions of veteran defenseman Brian Campbell and tender Cristobal Huet, as well as the re-birth of the Bulin Wall have provided the extra oomph needed to propel this year's squad This is a team that seems to play without fear, without expectation or privilege or pressure, and with the support of a re-emerging and renergized city. Also, they have the greatest logo in all of sports.

Why Blackhawks fans should be nervous: The Detroit Red Wings. The Blackhawks are 0-4 (both in and outside) this season against their hated rivals to the north, placing their young and inexperienced team at a severe psychological disadvantage. Throw in the fact that this team cannot win a faceoff to save it's life, has very minimal playoff experience on the front lines and a oft-injured top goal-scorer, and Blackhawks' fans certainly won't be a little sweaty come the 2nd round of the playoffs, assuming.

Players To Watch:

Martin Havlat - Because he has the most points on the team, and because he hasn't been injured...yet.

Toews & Kane - Because if you're not familiar with their first names, you don't belong here. And because each is capable of doing something electric and important everytime they get a blade on the puck.

Brian Campbell- Someone needs to provide the grit, the muscle and the savvy for this team to win a 7 game series, particularly against the Wings. While Campbell isn't the most physical blue-liner on the squad, he's likely the smartest. His leadership and quarterbacking on the ice will be intstrumental come playoff time.

Nikolai Habibulin & Cristobal Huet - They are a combined 35-17 in net, with a pretty decent Save Percentage approacing .920%. Their abilities are not in question. Whether they can channel it consistently during a playoff run is.

Clips of the season:

Toews nets possibly the best goal of the season, and 4 Avalanche cry themselves to sleep:

The Winter Classic @ Wrigley:

(This clip is approximately as long as the Hawks were in the game for)

Psychoanalytic Musings with Dr. b. Lee

On respect; comparing apples to apples, pt. 1

There's a phenomenon that occurs to people who are highly visible to the public eye. Some cannot properly "handle" such a life, either due to our own perceptions (they're merely fuck ups, but we blame their being fuck ups on the fact that they're wealthy and famous) or just because the pressure is too great and they fold under it (like a star basketball player that can score 30 points a game, but misses the last two free throws which would clinch the game).

However, there are some highly recognizable figures, let's call them "athletes", that never seem to settle into their role properly. They never appear to be secure, there are frequent "issues" that emerge and seem to follow them wherever they go. The perfect example of this phenomenon is Terrell Owens. Terrell Owens is an extraordinary football player. Over the course of his 13 seasons in the NFL, he is averaging over 1,000 yards receiving per season, 10 touchdowns per season, and 14 new, irreconcilable relationships per season. Even at the ripe old age of 35 the man is still producing, and at the moment, due to his physical conditioning, he is showing no signs of slowing down. He essentially has the body of a 25 year old man, with the maturity of a 15 year old boy.

TO has arguably been the best wide receiver in football over the last decade. Everyone seems to know how great he is (as much as we hate to admit it). Even TO seems to know how great he is, which is why one would think he is always clamoring on the sidelines when he is not getting the ball thrown his way (I’m good! Fucking use it!). However, the only thing that TO doesn't seem to know, is that everyone already knows he is a great receiver. He appears to be so uncomfortable with his standing in the pantheon of wide receivers, that he feels the need to supplement his game, and the perception thereof, with his mouth. He catches a touchdown pass, which we may have even marveled at, and then performs some kind of "celebration" as if to say, "Look at me, I caught a touchdown pass!" Yes, honey, we all saw it, you did a great job. Now get off the field.

Everyone knows who TO is. Everyone knows how good he is.

So why does he always feel the need to act out? Does being an elite wide receiver in the NFL not get him the attention that he feels he deserves? If he didn't perform touchdown celebrations, or if he didn't call out his teammates and his coaches on the sideline or at press conferences, would he be considered a lesser player as a result? In reality, it seems the opposite is true. If he kept his mouth shut, if he left the clown nose in his locker, then I get the feeling the public would have even greater respect for him and appreciate his performance even more.

Another example of this phenomenon, although in what some might call a less "extreme" version, is Kobe Bryant. Kobe Bryant is arguably the best basketball player in the NBA at the moment, and could very easily be considered one of the 10 best players of all-time at the end of his career. KB (for the purpose of consistency) after winning 3 titles early in his career has seemingly struggled to step out of Shaq's enormous shadow simply because he has not won a title in LA's post-Shaq era.

Or has he? Was KB ever truly consumed by Shaq's shadow? Or was this just the machinations of the (“liberal fucking”) media? Or even worse, was this all made up in KB's head?

Today Shaq is merely a personality. More to be gawked at in public, than concerned about on the court (non-sense All-Star selection aside). KB is the show, even if he sometimes shares the stage with Lebron (LJ... shoot, LBJ?). He is a brilliant basketball player that can alter games all by himself. KB ultimately decides if the game is won or lost.

Everyone knows that KB has this ability. Everyone knows how good he is.

So after making a big shot why does he give us the "Elephant" dance? After a win, why does he pop his shirt at the opposing fans? Yes, sweetie, we know you can make big shots and that you play for the Lakers. Now get off the floor before you are assaulted by the recently bankrupt gentleman in Row G.

Wouldn't we be more impressed if after making a game-changing shot, if KB just jogged down the floor, straight-faced and cool? Or if after a win in hostile territory, he simply strolled off the floor with a deep calm in his eyes? I don’t know, maybe as if just to say, “I know. Now you do, too.“