Dear Mr. Fantasy,

Give us some sweet, hilarious, crude names to use in our Yahoo! Fantasy baseball leagues...

You got it, children!

• Gun Showalter
• Sexson Drugs
• Honey Nut Ichiros (D Friv)
• Lincecum Lately
• Lincecum Quickly
• Tower of Mauer
• Young Sonnanstine
• Joba the Hut
• Schilling Me Softly (D Friv)
• Soto Popinski
• Sugar Freel
• Freel Willy
• Ugglasfuck
• Theriot Squad
• Sucart Escort Service
• Optimus Primobalan
• The Huff Brets
• Wake n’ Bakefield
• Matsuicide Squeeze
• Rolen Doobies
• Wells’ Bells
• onehitters
• Francouerphobia
• Guns Gibbons
• Rocky Poppin Cherries
• Rocky Cherry-Poppin
• Wily Mo Hum
• Buehrle Legal
• Free Garko
• Pronk’s Adventures
• Gold Bonderman
• Bondermania
• Brandon’s Minge
• Ingevitis
• Roid Papi
• Chuck Kockblauch (D Friv)
• Catcher in the eye
• Pitcher w/ a glass cock
• Field of Creams
• Papi Razzi
• J Bay City Rollers
• Life Begins at the Hawpe
• Dempster Butt
• Funky Cold Mussinas (D Friv)
• Rocket's Juice
• Harden Fast
• A League of their Moan
• Salsa Valverde
• Hampton's Millions
• Grandpa Tejada
• Los Leethal
• Hunter Pence None the Richer
• Maholm Schooled
• Snell that Snell
• Snell the Roses
• Doumit to me
• Laroche Clips
• DiFelice Brothers
• Looper Fiasco
• Parra Balls
• Llamado Gallardo
• My Two Vlads
• Vlad Men
• Upper Cust
• Iwo Johjima
• Helton Skelton
• Billingsley Softly
• Loney Tunes
• Furcalifornication
• Barrels of Ethier
• Prior's Pussy
• Prolonging Prior
• Sacrifice Cunt
• Matt CoCain Train
• Emansky's Essentials
• Penny's Arcade
• Lugo Away
• Indebted to Dykstra
• Potluck Kruk
• Rape, Rob, and Milledge
• Boofballs
• Hawped up
• Papi Seeds
• Petitte Coat Junction
• Marcum Zero
• Hits from the Wang
• Milledgedly
• Nerf Turnbow and Arrow
• Strawberry's Septum
• Oil Can Roid
• Roids cause Rrhoids
• Bonds on Bonds on Roids
• Cocks and Bonds
• Millionaire Welfare
• Madonna's Migrants
• 9 More Years
• Karma Suture
• Curse of the Giambino
• Pavano's Ponsi Scheme
• Silent Bunt Deadly
• Manny Packs
• Swingin Nix
• Paranoid A-Roid
• Ethier Binge
• Explosive Renteria
• Melky White Substances
• None Loiaza
• Bonser Scheme
• Mike Lamb Chops Play-a-Long
• Field of Wet Dreams
• Olney the Strong

Special thanks to my man, D. Friv for making a guest appearance and helping us out.

My personal favorites are Nerf Turnbow and Arrow, Iwo Johjima, and Ugglasfuck, but only because I'm a big fan of children's toys, atrocities, and cursing. Feel free to throw any others you can think of into the comments section. Fantasy!