Your Mandatory Pre-Fight Post

For the first time perhaps ever, Texas will be warmly welcoming the prospect of two illegal immigrants crossing their border for the primary purpose of pugilistic entertainment at Jerry World this weekend.  It's impossible to even consider this fight in lieu of the breakdown that occurred in negotiations between Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao.  In turn, it is also impossible to view Pacquiao's opponent this weekend, Joshua Clottey, as a mere substitute, and an insufficient one at that.

Go on...

How Cute...

Two spoon-fed mama's boys, one from Silicon Valley, the other that speaks Italian, "toughing" it out and "scrappin" with one another out on the court.  

Go on...

En Route: Sparrin'

What a week for controversy, huh?  Specifically surrounding the surly practice of fisticuffs.  Most notably when freshman phenom Brittney Garner declared to Texas Tech's Jordan Barncastle that she would, "crimson her face in a hue not unlike her togs!" And boy did she ever. 

But women's sports were not the only arena where fighting was a story.  For NHL hockey, coming off a successful Olympic bump is now hearing calls to remove hockey one for all from the game.  "The Olympics were great and there was no fighting," critics charge.  In response, Steve Downie and Danny Carcillo dropped the gloves as soon as the opportunity presented itself this passed Tuesday.  The world kept turning and everyone lived.

Anyway, I think we can all agree that fighting, well very exciting in unexpected situations such as a women's basketball game or a blowout hockey game... Wait, that last one isn't unexpected at all... REGAHDLESS, fights are best when they are planned, scheduled, and when they take place in a squared circle, or a proximal parking lot or playground.  And well lookee here: don't we have something special planned for next week.  No, I am not referring to several white men arguing over whether or not Xavier should be in the tournament over Memphis (they shouldn't be).  I'm talking about the battle at Jerry World between Manny Pacquaio and Josh Clottey.  And regardless of the outcome (Manny's gonna win), no one will be protesting or complaining that anyone got punched in the face.  You know, since that's kind of the idea.  And won't that be refreshing?

But let's not get ahead of ourselves, since we got plenty to talk about over the next week.  As for girl fights?  Well, as long as it's kept out of the ice arena, then Sean Avery shouldn't have a problem with it.

Don't fight me on this:

• Best article of the week.  Wanna bet? (Free Darko)
• Is it better to burn out or a break a hip mid-period? (Melt Your Face Off)
• Now if we can just retire the people that say such things (KSK)
• Hey, geeks: check it out! (With Leather)

Hands up, y'all

JUST GIVE THEM THE BLOOD!

While making others bleed is something Manny Pacquiao takes pleasure in, giving up his own seems to make the elite boxer a little queasy.

Apparently due to suspicions arising from the Mayweather corner, the current contract stipulates that the two boxers must pass drug tests that are up to International Olympic Committee standards.  The tests, as a result, would be random and the fighter would have to pass tests possibly up until the last few days prior to the fight.

Go on...

Monday Night Fights

When we pigs are not debating which sideline reporter had to "work" the hardest to obtain their position (it's Heidi Watney), or which female tennis player would be the best in the sack (it's Serena), we like to consider more serious, cultured matters such as, "Who would win in a fight?"

This week we got:

Belichick's decision to go for it on 4th down against the Colts in Week 10

vs.

Tomlin's decision to go for an onside kick while leading in week 15

Go on...

The Punisher

Sure, the Mayweather-Pacquiao news has dominated the boxing world over the last few weeks and with good reason.  However, for those fearful of life after THE fight, I present to your Paul "The Punisher" Williams.  You may not have heard of him, and with good reason.  He's a 6'2" monster with a 7-foot reach known for punching in bunches.  He just so happens to be the most feared fighter in the realm of Middleweights.  As a result, no one really wants to fight him.

Go on...

Your Mandatory Pre-Fight Post

This weekend the biggest fight since that other fight you didn't really care about will be taking place in Las Vegas, NV at the MGM Grand. We here at FSD cannot hide our excitement. I mean, there are just so many questions that will be addressed. Will the 21 month layoff hurt the Pretty Boy? Will the weight gain slow down Marquez? And with what kind of fluid will his water bottle be filled?

Oh, you mean you haven't been watching 24/7 on repeat for the last three weeks? Well, what the hell have you been doing? Catching up on True Blood instead? Ugh... Well, you're in luck because just before the undercard begins, HBO will be airing all 3 episodes, in addition to the finale. Oh, you don't even have HBO? Then how the hell have you been watching True Blood? But you have Internet access? Get your priorities straight, buddy.

For this fight holds big time implications. At this point you have no doubt heard about Manny Pacquiao. After systematically dismantling Oscar De La Hoya and basically ending Ricky Hatton's career (and also with the notable absence of the Pretty Boy), Pacquiao has seemingly assumed the rights to the title of "Pound-for-Pound greatest boxer in the world." However, it needs to be noted that Marquez damn near (or actually) beat Pacquio...

Twice.

Yes sir, we seem to be on an inevitable collision course where Mayweather will take on Pacquiao not only for some hardware, but also for that arbitrary title mentioned above. And after this eventual matchup, boxing will of course cease to exist, because what the hell else will the rest of us have to look forward to after a Pretty Boy-Pacman showdown?

But what if Mayweather loses and Dinamita Marquez steals the show? If everything goes according to plan in the upcoming Pacquiao-Cotto fight, will Manny have to step up and fight Marquez once again (and after refusing a third fight, previously)? So not only should Saturday bring us a great fight, but it will also give us some insight into what 2010 will hold for boxing fans.

Tale of the Tape

As you can see, Mayweather is slightly bigger than Marquez in terms of frame, but in terms of muscle mass, Marquez takes it. But beating larger, stronger opponents has never been a problem (see: 39-0) for Mayweather. Pretty Boy's defense makes the Bmore Ravens envious, and his counter-punching is the perfect complement. Marquez, on the other hand, is a straight brawler. He just wants to hit people and he is very good at it. However, he might have to be a little more disciplined in lieu of Floyd's more patient approach to a fight (and as opposed to Pacquiao's).

Myself? I am torn up about this fight. Even though Marquez drives a hummer and is, you know, I still like him. I enjoy watching humble fighters and I like the strong, silent type. And even though Pretty Boy Floyd is a bit obnoxious, he is still an entertaining character and quite possibly the best boxer in the biz. Plus, if he loses, he might retire and then we'll never see him fight Pacquiao. And since that fight would complete me, it needs to happen.

Therefore, I'm calling for a Mayweather decision. That's right, no knock outs this time through. But on the bright side, you will get your $50 worth. Or your risky Black Box venture's worth. Your call.

Enjoy the fight y'all.

My New Favurite Cocktail

Bottoms up, champ




And if it helps you to bring down the Pretty Boy come September 19th, then consider me a believer. Oh, and if you happen to receive a small container in the mail, along with $10 for postage and a media mailer, then please go ahead, fill it up and send it back to the attached address. Thanks in advance.

Buck's Buckin...

That's a shot of my man Smooth B, looking well, not so smooth. But if I had to play against Trevor Ariza and the Shit Show, well I'd probably lose my cool, too. "Fights" like this seem to break out every so often. Rarely are punches thrown, but most of the time, we are thankful for that (remember those "punches" Shaq threw at Brad Miller several years back?).

Most of the time dudes just like to jaw at one another during these little get-togethers. One has to wonder why this is? Is it because they are simply clear-headed, knowing that if they do throw a punch, they could be suspended for a significant period of time, in turn hurting their squad? Or, is it because they really just do not want to fight? Even in hockey the dudes that are clearly not fighters, are still forced into it, and sometimes, with hilarious results. So, since I've turned this sight into a haven for hockey dorks, and since I am actually just curious, would basketball benefit at all from allowing fights to occur on the court? Two men, no outside interference, bench players still have to remain on the bench, and as soon as someone goes down, then the fight is over.

Now, obviously this has the potential to be greatly exploited. Enforcers being brought into the NBA to take out the opposing team's superstars while airborne, etc. But, was not this the purpose of Charles Oakley on the Bulls? To look after Jordan just in case anything hit the fan? Now, I understand the notion is by and large ridiculous, BUT, if such fights were allowed, then couldn't we see a drop in these hard fouls? For example, would Ariza perhaps have thought twice about the foul, if he knew a former gold glove boxer were on Portland's bench?

Look, I just think it would be a lot more interesting than 10 dudes all gathered around each other just squawking at one another, pretending to be hard, when we all know the game. Make yourself look tough, because on the hardcourt, you will never have to actually prove it.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/recap?gameId=290309022

Monday Night Fights

When we pigs are not debating which sideline reporter had to "work" the hardest to obtain their position (it's Heidi Watney), or which female tennis player would be the best in the sack (it's Serena), we like to consider more serious, cultured matters such as, "Who would win in a fight?"

This week we got Bron Bron vs. Ron Ron

Tale of the Tape...

The King
Specs: 6'8 - 250.
Age: 24
Home: Akron, OH
Notable Features: Agile, young, versatile, physically dominant, we are all witnesses.
Endorsements: Nike, Sprite, Vitamin Water, President Obama
Aggressive Tendency: Told his mom to step down.

Testy
Specs: 6'7 - 260.
Age: 29
Home: Queensbridge Project, NYC
Notable Features: Swarming D, unorthodox, crazy, unfortunately we were all witnesses.
Endorsements: PETA, 3 out of 10 psychiatrists
Interests: Hip Hop
Aggressive Tendency: Every night he's on the court... Oh, and then there was that other thing.

Analysis:
It's tough to ever bet against Lebron because in any physical contest, because the man is just a monster. At any point of any game, he is always the most physically impressive specimen on the court. Now whether or not this transfers into the squared-circle and/or the octagon is something that remains to be seen (although a lucrative career no doubt awaits him once the basketball thing passes him by... I give it about 3 or 4 more years), but one has to assume that he could not be taken lightly in the ring.

On the other hand, we have Ron Artest, who also happens to be quite the specimen. While he is not nearly as awe-inspiring on the court as Bron Bron, Artest is still an intimidating presence. And he's fucking crazy. Artest also has 5 years on LeBron meaning that Artest is much closer to reaching "Old Man Strength" status. And plus, he's fucking CRAZY. Now, the size of Ron Artest's balls make them an easy target for Bron Bron, but due to that fact that Artest is crazy, this physical handicap is not as big of an issue.

Scorecard:

Artest by TKO.

Or, LeBron. But only because Artest gets disqualified. Either way, Ron Ron comes out feeling a whole lot better than his opponent.

Why Hockey is Better than Your Favorite Sport

And this fight occurred approximately one minute after Strachan and Orr dropped the gloves. These two teams aren't even in the same conference and they're going at it like this?!? And the NHL is talking about strengthening the rules and/or eliminating fights from the sport? Grow up. There's nothing more exciting or exhilarating, in all of sports, than the goal in hockey. The second most exciting thing is the fight. Leave it be.