Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Hiatus Greatest Hits #1

While we are off being uncreative and uninspired (like most musical acts after a two to three album run), please take some time to revisit some of our past posts which are sure to enlighten, amuse, or annoy just as much, if not even more than they did the first time.

In other words, allow us to reintroduce you to... us.

Originally published June 16, 2009-


This winter, the blogger known only as "Deuce" allowed us unprecedented access to his most sacred activity. We have been granted the ability to film, record audio, and observe while he engages in the activity that he does best. Namely, droppin' deuce.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Betting in Sideways World

Super Saver down the stretch.....and he WINS! Not only him but me, a man that just got blitzed by the NCAA tournament in such a way that Charles Barkley would have been proud of my losses. But, a timely Woody Page tip and my horse comes in first and at 8-1 odds my account sky rocketed. BUT....lets be honest karma is karma and while some ask for good karma, little do they know is the absence of karma is the most desirable thing in the world. Therefore, good karma leads to bad karma and until one can even out the karma a perfect existence of eternity is not obtainable. With that said, my Super Saver karma led me into riding the Suns hot and building a great little account. Little did I know that the Cavaliers and the Bruins would ruin my world. Its kind of like betting on red after five blacks at the roulette table and seeing that dreadful green zero hit. Thats just life. Well the moral of this story is DON'T take the teams you think are going to win. Bet with your heart (ie if you are like me and you hate the red wings, just bet against them, if you find the canucks disgusting despite those two green man fans, then effing bet against them, and finally if you love watching hockey on tv at great Canadian sites like Montreal (where the ohs and ahhhs of the fans carry over to the TV in an excellent manner that makes the game feel more exciting) then by all means go with your heart and not your head. The point is, DON'T pick Bruins in game six, don't go with the Penguins in game seven and for sure don't go with the under in the Pens v. Habs game. It was a tough night and well, I used to just have tough nights during the dog days of football fall, but now my addiction is roaring its aggressive snarl into the spring. Here's to taking the Celtics, Suns, Canadiens, and well the Twins or any other team that lost in the second game of a double header (seriously look at the winning percentage in the second game of the team that lost the first). I bid you ado until the next time...Go everything Minnesota and pick Super Saver in the Preakness. Just. Do. It.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Willie Shakes: Fantasy Laureate

When we're not embracing the world of fantasy sports or engaging in various psilocybin-based activities around these parts, we're continuously trying to improve our knowledge of the sports world around us.  Sometimes this can be difficult and so in those times we defer to the members of our intellectual class to provide the answers when all we have to offer is questions.  Now get your pencils and paper ready, children.  Because it's time for the triumphant return of Wille Shakes, Fantasy Mock Draft Laureate.

Well folks, what type of prognosticator would I be if I didn't take a shot at the NFL round 1 Mock Draft. I mean, EVERYBODY'S doing's like coke in the 80's.  Mel Kiper eat your heart out..

1. Rams
Sam Bradford QB OK

Uh Oh!

Although I would, of course, prefer to talk about WWF caricatures, we unfortunately will be talking about the Chicago Cubs.  Ah yes, the shitty Cubs; perennial chokemisers and incessant tinkerers of the NL Sad Bastard Society are at it once again.  Carlos Zambrano, aka the toughest man in Chicago, off to his worst start since his rookie season (and by far) has been moved to the bullpen after just 4 starts.  No word as to whether an addition needed to b added to the bullpen in order to accommodate Big Z's BLOATED salary, but this is such an odd situation.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Redirections, ETC.

Blogs are forming at a trickle right now, as are coherent thoughts from my brain pan.  But we do have this for you.  It's the Chella Blog's first entry!  Wanna know what it's like to be dirty, overstimulated and frazzled beyond control?  Well then I recommend some glue, some kiddie porn and a trip to your local DMV.

Wanna know what it was like to be at Coachella?  Go here, young man!

Headlines. . . !

Red Sox forfeiting remainder of season after slow start, knee-jerk commentary...

Kyle Singler passes up opportunity to play in NBA, seeks Duke bench position...

Ryan Miller is open for business...

Kevin Garnett considering throwing elbows more often...

Mel Kiper thinks Todd McShay lacks analytical explosiveness...

IOC's bullshit 'a complex series of interretarded events'...

Kovalchuk dressing like a devil, playing like a pussy...

Cleveland to Noah: Prettier'n you are...

Carlos Zambrano blames poor start on racist umpires, Torii Hunter...

Ecstasy's a helluva a drug...