Willie Shakes: Fantasy Laureate

When we're not embracing the world of fantasy sports or engaging in various psilocybin-based activities around these parts, we're continuously trying to improve our knowledge of the sports world around us.  Sometimes this can be difficult and so in those times we defer to the members of our intellectual class to provide the answers when all we have to offer is questions.  Now get your pencils and paper ready, children.  Because it's time for the triumphant return of Wille Shakes, Fantasy Mock Draft Laureate.

Well folks, what type of prognosticator would I be if I didn't take a shot at the NFL round 1 Mock Draft. I mean, EVERYBODY'S doing it...it's like coke in the 80's.  Mel Kiper eat your heart out..

1. Rams
Sam Bradford QB OK

Rams have passed on two franchise QBs... blah... blah.  While I think Bradford is incredibly frail, his accuracy and arm are top in the draft. The value at the #1 pick is only at QB and OT, and if the Rams cannot move down, they are forced into Bradford. Interesting to see him get hit (consistently) and be forced to move around a lot in the pocket..He was sacked very few times at OK, and for the most part simply stood behind a wall of massive first/second round lineman.

2. Lions
Ndamukong Suh DT NEB

Lions go for the most disruptive interior lineman in the draft. Instant impact.

3. Bucs
Gerald McCoy DT OK

Safest Pick in my Mock, the Bucs get a monster 3-technique for their Tampa 2 Defense. Considered by most to be the second best prospect in the draft behind Berry.

4. Redskins
Trent Williams T OK

The skins NEED a tackle to replace former pro-bowler Samuels. Okung is a possibility, however Williams' athleticism and longer arms make him the pick here.

5. Chefs
Eric Berry S Tenn.

Great Googlie Mooglie! Considered the "can't miss" player in this draft class, Berry's size, and speed are unmatched at this position. While some may point to Taylor Mays' speed, note that Berry is unmatched in coverage, and rivals the best corners in this draft in coverage.

(Do not count Jerry Jones out from trying to get to this pick and grab Berry)

6. Seahawks
Russell Okung T OK St.

Considered for most of the winter to be the top OT in this draft, the Seahawks are pumped to pencil in Okung in the spot vacated by Walter Jones.  (There is a chance, the Browns/Hawks swap spots here, Hawks picking up a 4th rounder or something. Browns try to get Clausen).

7. Browns
Jimmy! Clausen QB ND

Smokescreens all winter, Holmegren wants a QB, needs a QB, and from what I read, likes Clausen here. Mel Kiper has him rated above Bradford, and this league is run by QBs.

8. Raiders
Anthony Davis OT Rutgers

Davis is the smartest choice, though the raiders never make that choice...Davis is the most athletic OT still on the board, and will be an instant starter. The Head Crypt Keeper needs to let his football people make this pick.

9. Bills
Dan Williams NT Tenn.

This is the pick for Chan Gaily and the 3-4 Defense he is bringing to Buffalo. Buffalo has a lot of holes, but Williams is the nose tackle needed to eat up blockers and get the 3-4 going for ole' Chan.

10. Giants (from Jags)
Rolando McClain LB 'Bama

In the first of what could be many trades in this first round, the Giants jump up to get the one guy in this round they absolutely need. They replace Pierce with a 245lb star MLB that runs a 4.6. Also making this possible is the Jags want/need to move down and try to get another pick or two late. If they stay put look for D.Morgan out of G. Tech.

11. Dallas (from broncos)
Dez Bryant WR OK St.

The hits keep comin'..Mark my words, Jerry Jones wants to steal the spotlight tonight. If he gets his way the cowboys move up (if possible into the top 5 to get Berry). With Berry gone, Dallas has the choice of Saftey (biggest need) in Thomas from Texas, or the best WR in the draft DeezNuts Bryant. Jerry wants to make a splash and Bryant is the choice. Everyone else in the Dallas office wants a safety.

12. Dolphins
Earl Thomas S Texas

The dolphins filled their need at WR, look for them to try to move down, possibly with the Eagles trying to get to Thomas. If not, they need help in the secondary, and Thomas is that help.

13. 49ers
 Joe Haden CB Florida

The Niners have two picks in this first round. They rejoice in Haden falling this far, their pick is in before Stalin even gets to the podium, er, I mean Goodell..

14. Seahawks
CJ Spiller RB Clemson

The Seahawks having scooped up Okung, now look to upgrade their terrible run game. Spiller is a home run hitter and Mr. Caroll knows how to use them.

15. Jags (from Giants)
Derrick Morgan DE GA. Tech

Jags trade down and still get a coveted DE, this is a dream scenario for Del Rioville, as Morgan is most teams top pass rusher this draft.

16. Titans
Brandon Graham OLB Michigan

Graham's ability has some teams drooling, my sources tell me the Pats covet Grahmn and could try to move up. The Titans see a top tier pass rusher. Jason Pierre-Paul is also a possible pick here, as the Tits see him as a Kearse-type project.

17. 49ers
Bryan Bulaga T/G Iowa

I personally hate this pick, Bulaga might fall out of the first round. His short arms, and tape of Graham steamrolling him vs Michigan has teams questioning his athleticism. I've seen him referred to as the Next Robert Gallery, but the 9ers need a tackle. If titans take Pierre-Paul, I can also see the Pats moving here for Graham.

18. Steelers
Maurkice Pouncey C Florida

A. He won't rape anyone.
B. The Steelers need help inside, Pouncey is not only the best Center in the draft, he could be the best Guard.

19. Falcons
Kyle Wilson CB Boise St.

The falcons need help in the secondary, some teams have Wilson rated higher than Hayden (better man coverage skills). Wilson will start from day one. Also look at Pierre-Paul if he's still here.

20. Texans
Ryan Matthews RB Fresno St.

Cannot have another sub par rushing season or oft injured Schaub will spend another year on the IR.

21. Bengals
Jermaine Gresham TE OK

The Bengals will do anything for Carson Palmer, they get the consensus top TE in the draft, a big pass catcher who can stretch the middle for Palmer.

22. Patriots
Sergio Kindle OLB TEX

I feel like the Pats will be active on day one, with a wealth of 2nd round picks... but it's not their M.O. Word is the pats covet Gresham, and if they don't move to get him, I see Kindle being the pass rushing OLB they look at, after a Stellar season from Brian Orakpo last year in Washington.

23. Packers
Jerry Hughes OLB TCU

Dom Capers needs an outside linebacker to pressure the QB. With Matthews anchoring the other side, Hughes is an instant starter. A young, tough, fast LB crew for Dom. Don't count out T. Mays here, however. Hughes is too good to pass up.

24. Eagles
Taylor Mays S USC

While the word is Philly wants to move, I see them standing pat. With the two top safeties gone, Mays' combo of size/speed makes him the choice here. He needs work in coverage, but he's an absolute freak of nature.

25. Ravens
Jason Pierre-Paul DE USF

The Ravens always preach "Best Available." If for some reason Pierre-Paul is still here, the Ravens will gladly scoop him up. (Paul could go to the Titans or Falcons, or anyone, he's a workout warrior, with only 4 years of playing football). However, in all likelihood, Paul is gone at this point, look for the Ravens to take
McCourty (CB Rutgers).

26. Cardinals
Sean Weatherspoon OLB Mizzou

With Dansby and Rolle leaving in the offseason the Cards need to fill two starting spots. Safety is a reach at this point, and Weatherspoon is a complete LB.

27. Broncos (from Cowboys)
Demaryius Thomas WR Ga. Tech

Broncos still get tall top-tier WR to replace Marshall, however, if an impact LB is still on the board, say if Mays goes to the Packers, and Hughes or Weatherspoon are available, the Broncos could go there. Also, don't count them out of moving back out of the 1st round all-together in a deep draft a-la Bill Belichick...Brandon Spikes out of Florida is an MLB they can try to grab early in Round 2.

28. Chargers
Devin McCourty CB Rutgers

They have three realistic needs in RB/DT/CB which makes them tough to predict here. I don't see them moving up, as they'll have their choice of positions of need here. I think McCourty is the pick, but don't be shocked by J.Best..

Possibles:
T.Cody DT OK
Price DT UCLA
J.Best RB Cal

29. Jets
Terrence Cody

Don't count out a big nose tackle like Cody here, as you can never have enough impact space eaters in a 3-4 defense. The most active team in the offseason looks to add youth and depth to that league leading defense. I like Cody if they don't go CB.

30. Vikings
Colt McCoy QB Texas

And there it is, the third QB in the first round. The Vikes get the QB of the future, who can sit behind BFF and learn. McCoy won more games in college than another QB in history. He's incredibly accurate and mobile, however his height keeps him out of the top of the draft. If he's 6'3 or better, he's the #1 overall pick in my mind.

31. Colts
Charles Brown OT USC

Boring, they go o-line in some way. They need a mobile OT, and Brown is a bit of a road grader-type, it's possible they go inside with Iuapati.

32. Saints
Brian Price DT UCLA

The Saints jump at Price, who fills a need in their defense. Don't count out a team looking to move into the first and select Tim Tebow here...

Had to get Tebow into my mock!

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Willie Shakes, ladies and gents! Now back into your cage! Fantasy football drafts are only four months away and you got research to do.