Generally, these social experiments are harmless. Unless you include that one where the people were in a laboratory and forced to repeatedly push a button which would then "shock" a total stranger in the other room. Of course, the stranger wasn't actually being shocked, but was paid to pretend to be outraged at being shocked by the button-pusher. The only harm incurred, was the psychological damage incurred to the submissive clown that kept pushing the button despite the repeated pleas of the stranger. This one, well, it could be both physically and psychologically damaging.
To me, exclusively.
Tonight, a pair of well-known baseball rivals will take the field for their second game of the season. I am generally a fan of the home team. I say generally, because it hasn't been lifelong (oh my!). When I was 4 years old, my favorite team was the Blue Jays. I didn't convert to the hometown team until I was around 8 or 9. But since I was 8 (or 9), I have been a true blue hometown boy. Until now. I have no real problem with the team, other than the problem that I have with baseball in general (too much money for some teams, not enough for others). My problem is with the fans. They've gone soft, yuppie, boring, civilized, and worst of all, wholly disinterested in the outcome of their team. If they lose, well, didn't we have fun? Oh well, I guess it's back to actually not caring like before those championship parades. (And my least favorite), It's almost football season!
We're at the brink. I remember fights breaking out in the bleachers. And not just between MMA wannabes clad in Affliction garb, mad that the others guy's girlfriend has a better spray-on tan than his own, forgetting that getting punched in the face hurts a lot more without your gear. You wore an opposing team's hat to the game, you got doused, insulted, humiliated, and made miserable. These days, maybe one or two jerk-offs say something ridiculous but they're just showing off. They're not actually insulting you so much as masturbating. They're just as likely to call out someone with the opposing team's gear as they are to call out someone who spills beer on the way up the steps. In other words, if people are mean, they're just mean for the sake of being mean. It's not directed where it should be... And how did this happen?
How do I know? Well, aside from just saying "years of experience", that is the very purpose of this experiment: I'm out to prove that these "fans" have lost their way. I'm not out to get into a fight, and in actuality, I'm not even sure of the methodology just yet, other than to A) Don the rival team's hat and B) Go to the home team's park with said hat on head. Whether or not I'm obnoxious, seeking to goad fans into a response, or quiet, simply awaiting the verbal and projectile assault, remains to be determined. Either way, I am expecting to elicit a response. How great a response? Well, that's the idea...
Goals:
- Count the number of ballpark attendees that comment on my opposition to their club.
- Count how long it takes upon entering the park before a negative comment is received.
- Count the number of ballpark attendees that comment on my loyalty to their club.
- Count how long it takes upon entering the park before a positive comment is received.
- Count the number of times I get hit with a flying projectile of some kind.
- Avoid getting kicked out of the game.
- Get someone else kicked out of the game.
- Make at least 3 negative comments to individual/mass fans about their ballclub, with varying degrees of ferocity/snark.
Comment now. Results tomorrow.
Wish me luck. I'm not gonna need it.
$20 says you saw yourself as the white... Devon White. What a jerkoff.
ReplyDeleteAs for tonight, nothing like a good Jon Lester cancer joke to bring the house down.