Final Sickness

It was too cold to cry, when I woke up alone-
I hit my last number, I walked to the road.

So, the Final Four came through with a whimper.  You can already here Tony Reali asking, "did Butler win the game, or did Michigan State lose the game?"  Please don't try to imagine Jay Mariotti's response but nothing but headaches will ensue.  And how good is Duke?  Ah yeah, about those headaches?

Go on...

Friday Bonebag

/Friday Shitbag

Bonebag:

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  The vocal chords are still reeling from high-pitched shrieks sent forth from the pub last night, but I guess a top notch Sweet 16 battle will do that to you.  Anytime you reach the point when you are absolutely willing to accept either team winning a contest, you have reached athletic nirvana and hopefully we all at least got close last night.  Kansas State's elite backcourt carried the day combining for 53 points, and some especially clutch shooting down the stretch from my man on your left.  Then again, Xavier's backcourt wasn't too shabby either, pouring in 58 points.  Huge shots, dramatics, two likable teams, this game was just a treat and had me peeing like I was up all night have sex this morning, which I'll take... Which I'll take.

Go on...

Sweet Sickness - That Side

May my love reach you all,
I locked in myself and buried too long.
Now that I've come to fall,
Please say that it's not too late,
Now that I'm dead and gone.

Go on...

Sweet Sickness - This Side

The good news? Pretty awesome tournament we have going right now, eh?  A solid mix of predictable favorites and completely unpredictable sleepers that have ravaged brackets like a horny Russian in Cold War East Germany.  Dance of Death, indeed

Go on...

6-11 Is the New 5-12!

First off, yesterday was the most glorious day in a long time.  No, I don't care about the condition of my bracket, nor should you yours.  Brackets don't mean shit, especially when you picked Vandy to do anything ever (ps. what's wrong with you?).  At this point in time, what's done is done and so there's nothing else to do but put your bracket in your sock draw and leave it there until the first weekend in April, because if you're too busy sobbing over Notre Dame, then amidst the tears, you're going to be missing some really fantastic basketball.

Go on...

Sickness Live Blog

I'm thinkin' of a - Live blog to
En-ter-tain you work-work-working stiffs.
My mind's content to - ball all day long
In hopes that it's gonna give-give-give me a lift.

I'm late!  Let's hop to it!

This live blog is sponsored by the following song:

The Stick - Ted Leo & the Phar...

1:05pm - Nova the super-duper unimpressive regular season that didn't deserve a 2-seed, showing early on why... they didn't deserve a 2-seed.  Robert Morris 24 Nova 16

1:15pm - Apparently every game is at half-time... And the bartender is less-than impressed by my sparkling white laptop that is on the bar.

1:16pm - Maybe Robert Morris can beat Duke?

Go on...

Sickness South 2010

And as I listen at your wake
I saw how only you could make
Triumph out of tragedy
Tragedy into a divine comedy

West Sickness
Midwest Sickness
East Sickness
South Sickness

Go on...

Sickness East 2010

That woman deserves her revenge...
And we deserve to die...
But then again, so does she.
So, I guess we'll just see...
Won't we?

West Sickness
Midwest Sicknes
East Sickness
South Sickness

Go on...

Playin' Sickness

How could we forget the game that pretty much, kinda, doesn't even really count?

Go on...

Sickness Midwest (2010)

You can a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there.
But wouldn't you rather take his word for it?

West Sickness
Midwest Sickness
East Sickness
South Sickness

Go on...

Sickness West (2010)

Every night and every morn, some to misery are born. 
Every morn and every night, some are born to sweet delight. 
Some are born to sweet delight, some are born to endless night.

West Sickness
Midwest Sickness
East Sickness
South Sickness

Go on...

But First!

We've all been alerted to the genius that is Name of the Year, but are we aware of all the corporate knock-offs that have emerged as a result of its existence? 

One such entrepreneur (read: thief), and good friend of FSD, has scoured the records of his employer to locate and provide us all with some of the best names that his terrible, terrible job has to offer.

It's the MT Name of the Year!

Rock the bracket, y'all.

The Return

Considering the weak state in which so many teams are limping into the tournament this year, we have decided to dub the 2010 Sickness as "The Big Dance... of Death".  With so many lying at death's doorstep (see: Texas and Purdue) and/or dead already (Wofford and, well, Purdue again), it seems fitting.

At this point, everyone should be aware of THE SHEET® , so there's no real need to go into the details, unless you really want to, of course.  Basically, we're bringing you THE SHEET® March Madness-style.  Coming soon, we will have all four regional brackets posted, but each will have its own FSD-spin to it.  No actual team names (usually) will be found and instead, you will see 64 puns, name-plays, and potentially clever references to the female anatomy.

Get excited, y'all... It's about that time.

Final Sickness: Four Real

So, welcome back once again, and for one last time to our sick, sick world. Sweet 16 wasn't really all that sweet, but at this point it's the anticipation that matters most. Nova-Pitt made the Elite 8 all worth it. It didn't even matter what happened on Sunday after that epicness. Even Oklahoma's disastrous performance couldn't put a damper on things. To call their defense loose, would be like calling Alyssa Milano moderately promiscuous. But what I really want to know is, when the shit did I get so excited about Spartan basketball? Oh yeah, when they played lockdown defense and refused to miss a shot in the last 12 minutes of their most recent game. So let's get this shit on the road, because Baylor-Penn State just ain't cutting it right now!



The Suton of Swing

vs.

The Connvicts


AND


Scottie Ice

vs.

The Green Lantern

---

I don't really have much to say about these games other than GO NOVA! I'm just going to let these games speak for themselves as they really are going to make or break this tourney. And this isn't just some last ditch effort to bring everyone else down to my own sunken, wretched level. Although there is plenty of that involved, as I have been oft described as a "vengeful mother fucker." But in all honesty, a Spartan-Wildcat final on Monday would get me about as moist as a cougar at a college town cocktail bar, and me likey. A Tar Heels-Huskies final, well, let's just say I'm just not sure I want to live in a world where such a match up is allowed to occur.

The bridge to the baseball season is almost finished. Enjoy the thrill while it's here because it's the last exciting we get to witness until, well, the Stanley Cup playoffs! Happy weekend y'all

SWEET SICKNESS

So, welcome BACK to our sick, sick world. First two rounds pretty much went by the books, but remember who told you to take Western Kentucky, Wisconsin, and Cleveland State, but also to avoid Temple, Mississippi State, and Portland St. And fuck Arizona. They still shouldn't be in the tournament. At this point, upsets are pretty much out of the equation. Considering the lack of lower-seeds remaining, and based on the constant flux at the top of the rankings this year, it seems that anything is really possible, and that is all right by this mother fucker right here. So, let's get this shit show on the road. Sweet Sixteen y'all! Here it go:

Heartland

1 Kaiser Sosa

12 Desert Hillbillies


3 Selfish Bastards

2 Izzopentoanal


Mild Mild West


1 Like Oden, but Worse

5 Marijajuana


3 Tiller the Hun

2 Return of the Mack


Big East


1 Young's Guns

4 Cincinnapi-Headed Hoes


3 Reverend J. Wright

2 White Devils


Southie Dude


1 Duke West

4 Zig Zags


3 Devendork

2 Charlie Brown and the Peanuts


Upset specials:

Are we serious? The only real potential upset in this case would be Arizona over Louisville. Since you already know our feelings on them, we should continue no further. So instead, a few of us from the team are just gonna pick the winners. Here it go:

B. Lee:

Villains

B Jays

Purdudes

Cali Fornicators

Pitt Stain Balls

Ova N' Ova

Yeahhh Royyyy

Griffters

Favorite game aside from the one where Duke loses: Pitt - Xavier

Deucedeuce:

King Louis VILL over Future Lottery Bustinger

I.Z.Z.O over Self-Denial

Boiler Room Brawl over the Cheaters (and really, get fucked Calhoun. Slimebag.)

DeJuan's Dumpster Babies over Jesuitkateers

Dante's Inferno over Ratface, ScheyerFace, SinglerBalls and the rest.

I Don't Really Like Light Blue Shirts over Abba Zagga, you my only friend.

Mulatto Caveman over the Orangina

Favorite game aside from the one where Duke loses: Memphis vs. Missoura. That shit's gonna be a dogfight at a frenetic pace, y'all. Belie-dat. I picked the Tigers...but I'll be rooting for the TIGERS, if you get my shit. 40 Minutes of Hell won me my first ever bracket pool. Do it to 'em, Mizzou.

SOUTH SICKNESS

So, welcome to our sick, sick world. For those of you not already informed about our NFL Spreadsheet, then you are in for a treat. I guess the closest thing that one could compare this to is a crossword puzzle. An oft-filthy, offensive crossword puzzle, that you love. We provide the hints, you figure out who we're talking about, and then you pick the winner.

GOIN' DOWN SOUTH


So my Tarheel buddy, claims right off the bat this morning that UNC once again got screwed by being put into the toughest conference. I shot back by telling him that nothing could be further from the truth. After all, they did get to play in the ACC this year... zing! But honestly, unless you are in the bottom half of this region. Illinois? Gonzaga? Forgive me if these two teams do not derail me from sending UNC directly to the Elite 8. However, if you're an Oklahoma fan? Might hold off on those travel plans to Memphis. And once again, an astounding 8-9 match up... I am letting Illinois know that they are on notice. Could be the 5-12 upset lock.



1 Psycho Tease

16 Flohr D'Oeurves


8 Tasminian Devils

9 Mr. Belvedere


5 Annoising Coach

12 Slaughterhouse 5


4 Northwest Nuggets

13 Bron Kron


6 STD U.

11 Lloyd Christmas Limo Service


3 Q's

14 Stone Cold Stunners


7 Booker T

10 Big Blew


2 Austin's Johnson

15 Holmes Schooled

Upset special:

Slaughterhouse over The Nois... Just be careful is all

Upset to avoid:

Lloyd Christmas over STD's... When did the A-10 start carrying so much weight again?

WEST SICKNESS

So, welcome to our sick, sick world. For those of you not already informed about our NFL Spreadsheet, then you are in for a treat. I guess the closest thing that one could compare this to is a crossword puzzle. An oft-filthy, offensive crossword puzzle, that you love. We provide the hints, you figure out who we're talking about, and then you pick the winner.


LEFT COAST


West Region feels like leftovers to me. Not sure if I feel that way simply because it's the final region to be covered, or because it's really the case. You have the good team from the shitty conference, the good team from the great conference, the supposed winner of the overrated conference, the runner-ups out west and down south, and a team that looked really good, until they lost 5 of their last 6 games. Fillers include Cal and Marlyand... zzzz.... Oh, and the Mormon community is well-represented via two potential cinderellas. Oops, do they not celebrate March Madness? Anyway, I never thought Utah St. could cause such a potential disturbance, but consider yourself warned. And how will baby Durant fair against the hometown sweethearts? Just one question to ponder when considering this unquestionably weird region.


1 Coach Calpoontang

16 John Mox


8 Come Hard

9 Free Darko


5 Fake Chicken

12 Koch 'n O'Rear


4 Zeke!

13 Baby K Du


6 Warriors

11 Pooh Dogs


3 The Lygers

14 Big Ginger


7 Seeley Dan

10 General Grievis


2 Bull Dozier

15 DJ Gay and the Elephant Walkers


Upset special:

Pooh Dogs over Warriors... but let's hope it doesn't come to that

Upset to avoid:

Baby K Du over Zeke!... Too obvious

EAST SICKNESS

So, welcome to our sick, sick world. For those of you not already informed about our NFL Spreadsheet, then you are in for a treat. I guess the closest thing that one could compare this to is a crossword puzzle. An oft-filthy, offensive crossword puzzle, that you love. We provide the hints, you figure out who we're talking about, and then you pick the winner.

MOVIN' ON UP

I consider this to be the best region in this year's pool. Not only are the top 2 teams legit, but so are 3, 5, and 6. No offense meant to Xavier, but you can't win your own crappy tournament? Plus they jammed a bunch of semi to not-so-deserving BIG 10 and BIG 12 teams into this bracket, just to make it as unpredictable as possible. So at worst, this is the most watched region. At best, it's a bloodbath and that's what we look for during March. Look at that 8-9 matchup?! Goodness. Whoever comes out of this region maybe worse for wear. But I'll tell you what, this is definitely Pitt's style.


1 Wanamakercum

16 ManPigRam


8 Obi Wan

9 Shooting Chism


5 Fucked Stiff University

12 My main man, Pat BOHANNON!


4 Mouseketeers

13 Viking It Out


6 He Must Break You

11 The Larry Sanders Show


3 Supernova

14 Hulk Hogan U.


7 Mr. Dogus

10 Shamalama Ding Dong


2 Blue Angels

15 Nitrous Binghies

Upset special:

Bohannon over FSU... only because it would be wicked stupid if it happened

Upset to avoid:

Vikes over Mouseketeers... No way

MIDWEST SICKNESS

So, welcome to our sick, sick world. For those of you not already informed about our NFL Spreadsheet, then you are in for a treat. I guess the closest thing that one could compare this to is a crossword puzzle. An oft-filthy, offensive crossword puzzle, that you love. We provide the hints, you figure out who we're talking about, and then you pick the winner.

REAL AMERICA


Definitely looks to be on the weaker side of things. We got Louisville, Michigan St, and let's see... That's about it. Kansas has looked downright pedestrian recently. West Virginia wasn't even good until about 3 days ago, and Wake Forest, I don't know, I just do not trust them right now. BC vs. USC maybe one of the most laughable first-round games of all time. Nice combined 23 losses, you jerks. Potential sleepers here? Ahm... No, thank you. But, I would watch out for Cleveland St in the first round. I want to like Wake, but they have some bad losses that don't sit well. Siena? Anyone?

1 Former Celtics Great _

16 Please be Morehead...


8 Suckeyes

9 Ubiles.net


5 Drca Drca Muhammed Jihad

12 Lute's Ladies


4 Fake Plastic Trees

13 Steam City State


6 Huggy Bear

11 Radio Flyers


3 Sherron Jeremy

14 Fargo Rock City


7 Mr. October

10 The Rise of Taj


2 Izzoverrated

15 Rob Roblaw

Upset special:

Steam City over the Fakers... Yuh heard?

Upset to avoid:

Lute over Drca Drca... They have no business being in the tourney

***UPDATE***

We'll be dropping the "SICKNESS" on you shortly, we just got some formatting issues that we are dealing with. We promise that you will love it, warts and all. The festivities had there way with me yesterday, so please be patient with me. I first picked up a bracket this morning, and I'm still trying to figure out how the shit Wisconsin made it into the tournament... They don't belong. They play a real boring style of basketball, oh and they have 12 losses, but since the Big 10 gets respect for some reason, they made it in. Whatever, there are other transgressions made as well, but what are you gonna do? I've seen what happens when people get a little too high and mighty, speaking incredulously about these decisions, so I'll cool it down. At least, Wisco will provide some fodder for the first first round or two of the "Sickness". And that being said, I think they may be in the toughest bracket. Nova, UCLA, Duke, Pitt, Tennessee, Texas, FSU, Xavier.. Ain't no joke.

Or should we call it the "Ides of Illness?" Hmmm...

Anyway, I got a whole bunch of game film to be pour threw over the next few days leading up to Wednesday's "play-in" game, so I'm going to get on that. Shooting for a perfect bracket this time through. I'll let you know.

Stay tuned, all ye faithful.