Final Sickness

It was too cold to cry, when I woke up alone-
I hit my last number, I walked to the road.

So, the Final Four came through with a whimper.  You can already here Tony Reali asking, "did Butler win the game, or did Michigan State lose the game?"  Please don't try to imagine Jay Mariotti's response but nothing but headaches will ensue.  And how good is Duke?  Ah yeah, about those headaches?

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Friday Bonebag

/Friday Shitbag

Bonebag:

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  The vocal chords are still reeling from high-pitched shrieks sent forth from the pub last night, but I guess a top notch Sweet 16 battle will do that to you.  Anytime you reach the point when you are absolutely willing to accept either team winning a contest, you have reached athletic nirvana and hopefully we all at least got close last night.  Kansas State's elite backcourt carried the day combining for 53 points, and some especially clutch shooting down the stretch from my man on your left.  Then again, Xavier's backcourt wasn't too shabby either, pouring in 58 points.  Huge shots, dramatics, two likable teams, this game was just a treat and had me peeing like I was up all night have sex this morning, which I'll take... Which I'll take.

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Sweet Sickness - That Side

May my love reach you all,
I locked in myself and buried too long.
Now that I've come to fall,
Please say that it's not too late,
Now that I'm dead and gone.

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Sweet Sickness - This Side

The good news? Pretty awesome tournament we have going right now, eh?  A solid mix of predictable favorites and completely unpredictable sleepers that have ravaged brackets like a horny Russian in Cold War East Germany.  Dance of Death, indeed

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Blogsturbation Monday

And the Big Four are Syracuse, Duke, Cornell, and Northern Iowa?  That's awfully white of this tournament.  Sure Kentucky has looked very solid in their first two games, but what do those first two games mean anyway?  Maybe we should ask Kansas... But in all honesty, we would have to say that Northern Iowa is the favorite against Sparty, no? I'm not sure I've seen a more confident team than the Panthers so far.  And without Lucas, how confident can Izzo's bunch really be?  That luck can only last so long.

As for FSD, our money is on Washington walking out of this thing cleaner than anyone else.

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6-11 Is the New 5-12!

First off, yesterday was the most glorious day in a long time.  No, I don't care about the condition of my bracket, nor should you yours.  Brackets don't mean shit, especially when you picked Vandy to do anything ever (ps. what's wrong with you?).  At this point in time, what's done is done and so there's nothing else to do but put your bracket in your sock draw and leave it there until the first weekend in April, because if you're too busy sobbing over Notre Dame, then amidst the tears, you're going to be missing some really fantastic basketball.

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Sickness Live Blog

I'm thinkin' of a - Live blog to
En-ter-tain you work-work-working stiffs.
My mind's content to - ball all day long
In hopes that it's gonna give-give-give me a lift.

I'm late!  Let's hop to it!

This live blog is sponsored by the following song:

The Stick - Ted Leo & the Phar...

1:05pm - Nova the super-duper unimpressive regular season that didn't deserve a 2-seed, showing early on why... they didn't deserve a 2-seed.  Robert Morris 24 Nova 16

1:15pm - Apparently every game is at half-time... And the bartender is less-than impressed by my sparkling white laptop that is on the bar.

1:16pm - Maybe Robert Morris can beat Duke?

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Sickness South 2010

And as I listen at your wake
I saw how only you could make
Triumph out of tragedy
Tragedy into a divine comedy

West Sickness
Midwest Sickness
East Sickness
South Sickness

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Sickness East 2010

That woman deserves her revenge...
And we deserve to die...
But then again, so does she.
So, I guess we'll just see...
Won't we?

West Sickness
Midwest Sicknes
East Sickness
South Sickness

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Playin' Sickness

How could we forget the game that pretty much, kinda, doesn't even really count?

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Sickness Midwest (2010)

You can a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there.
But wouldn't you rather take his word for it?

West Sickness
Midwest Sickness
East Sickness
South Sickness

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Sickness West (2010)

Every night and every morn, some to misery are born. 
Every morn and every night, some are born to sweet delight. 
Some are born to sweet delight, some are born to endless night.

West Sickness
Midwest Sickness
East Sickness
South Sickness

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The Return

Considering the weak state in which so many teams are limping into the tournament this year, we have decided to dub the 2010 Sickness as "The Big Dance... of Death".  With so many lying at death's doorstep (see: Texas and Purdue) and/or dead already (Wofford and, well, Purdue again), it seems fitting.

At this point, everyone should be aware of THE SHEET® , so there's no real need to go into the details, unless you really want to, of course.  Basically, we're bringing you THE SHEET® March Madness-style.  Coming soon, we will have all four regional brackets posted, but each will have its own FSD-spin to it.  No actual team names (usually) will be found and instead, you will see 64 puns, name-plays, and potentially clever references to the female anatomy.

Get excited, y'all... It's about that time.

Got Any Gum?

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A Brand New Day

What's this?

Has ESPN finally expanded suffrage to the unwashed masses?  Allowing them to be counted amongst the Elect?  Sharing public bathrooms and water fountains?

Must be a glitch in the system somewhere.

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Oblivious to the Obvious

Having conceded the fact that this weekend belongs strictly to college basketball, with all apologies to that riveting Sox-Twins split squad down in Fort Myers, we'd like to look at the some of the better basketball games that are going to take place this weekend.  Particularly, those games that often times, do not even register on ESPN as actual games (see photo).

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Regularly Scheduled Programming

Presenting a list of games that ESPN feels are more important than the Kansas (#2) - Kansas State (#5) matchup that will surely produce at least one number 1-seed in the NCAA tournament (presented in order of ridiculousness):

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Remembering the Memorable

Inspired by this piece from Fanhouse (Feel free to read it before or after.  Just know that it may not be suitable for work.  That is, if getting highly emotional happens to be not suitable at your office).

I was 8 years old when I had my first taste of March Madness.  Sure everyone likes to look back to 1986 and pretend that Buckner brother their heart, too.  Or, they pretend that the Bears stomping of the Pats had significant meaning for them as a 4 year-old.  It's all bullshit.  But when you're 8, things finally start to come into focus.  Your own sports "career" is beginning to take flight.  You are no longer hitting off the tee, the three-point line seems a little closer, and you're wrist shot might even be getting some separation from the ice.  Seemingly as a result (or maybe it's just coincidence), sports as entertainment (rather than exercise) begins to take on a bigger role in your life.  Memories begin to fasten themselves to your being.  Often times they're silly; such as Pete Stoyanovich's NFL record 58-yard playoff field goal against the Chiefs (I was actually 9 when that happened, but let's not split hairs).  But some memories are not silly.  Rather, they are meaningful and perhaps more importantly, enduring.  My first memory of March Madness falls into the meaningful, enduring category.  And the reason for this is because of Hank Gathers.

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I Am the Slime...

Or, the one where we tell you what's on television because apparently that is the kind of services that blogs provide when ESPN.com is just too many letters to type into the toolbar.



Tonight!

In the awesomeness that is Olympic-catapulted NHL hockey, we got a Gold medal re-match... sorta:

Boston Bru Cru v. French Hab-nots (NESN/Le TV de Canada)

I mean, you can only watch it if you got the League Pass or live in the Boston/Montreal metro area, but whatever.

And in college hoopiness, we got two BIG, albeit barely watchable matches with serious tournament implications:

Marq'd Men v. Colonel Sanders' Special Recipe (ESPNU)

and

The Trechies v. Clem, Son (The ESPN station that doesn't actually exist on television)

So, have fun only being able to watch one of these 3 options!  Yay, television!

Got Any Gum?

Bubble gum, that is.

Over the next few weeks as we march toward... March... Madness (damn it) we will be reviewing and evaluating some potential suitors for miss Cinderella's big ol' ball.  Which teams will make it, which teams will not, which teams give Doug Gottlieb the biggest boner, it's all here, folks!  And away we go:

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