Would the Kind, Ignorant Gentleman Please be so Kind as to Sit Down and Never Talk Again?

Okay, one more non-sports-related blog before we try and get back into it. Oh, and if you're wondering; there really are other writers on this site... They're just lazy and mentally unstable. I'm actually going to talk about them below.
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So, my philistine friends feel the need to get all haughty and righteously retarded after the Oscars by saying things like:

"Congratulations, Slumdog, you just won an award that no one cares about!"

And...

"If a movie is played at a cinema and no one goes to see it, do I still get to watch Grey's Anatomy?"

And...

"How come My finger smells like my asshole?"

So you get the idea as to what I'm dealing with on a daily basis.

Now folks, maybe you never saw the movie "Milk" or "The Wrestler", and maybe you never intend to. That's fine, you don't have to. They'll probably just make your small brain hurt anyway. But please, given that you've never seen the movie, and due to the fact that the last movie you saw in the cinema starred a guy in a mask, or featured four old women pretending to be hot and interesting, you should probably just bite your lip on this one.

The Academy surely has it's agendas. Sometimes they're overridden by fear (eg. why a flaming, platitude-laced, shitbrick like "Crash" can beat out "Brokeback Mountain"). Sometimes Tom Hanks exerts mind control over them like when Forrest Gump beat Shawshank Redemption for Best Picture back in '94. But I'd still prefer to leave the decisions to them, rather than handing the reigns over to a borderline adolescent like yourself.

But let's play a little game. What if, the "average guy", or the "regular gal", or the "simple folk" (my personal favorite), got to make the decisions? What if, "they" got to choose what was best and who gets the "pat on the back?" Let's just see how this would unfold:

2009 Academy Awards Best Picture:

Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail
Bride Wars
Yes Man
Wall-E
Dark Knight

I'm actually impressed that they even selected Dark Knight. Quick! Name the director... Oh... Right.

2009 Best Restaurant:

Papa John's
McDonald's
Long John Silver's
KFC
Krispy Kreme

My money is on Krispy Kreme since I, myself eat it for both breakfast and dinner every day.

2009 Car of the Year:

Chevy Silverado
Ford F-150
Toyota Tundra
Chevy Impala
Hummer H3

Mmmmm, so many good choices. I'm glad to see that NFL advertisements have had such a profound effect on our purchasing habits .

The point is, you don't know shit and no one is better off with Joe the Plumber at the helm. After all, you're the same people that voted for Allen Iverson more than 4x as much as Joe Johnson (the GZA... JZA?) for the NBA All-star game, voted 4 of Les Habitantes to the starting lineup of the NHL All-star game (leaving the best player in the league OUT of the starting lineup), selected Brett Favre to the Pro Bowl, and have been served billions and billions of times by McDonald's. Forgive me for disrespecting your sorry opinions. Viva La Academy!