The QB That Dare Not Speak His Name Or:

How I learned to stop worrying and just hate the bastard.


Let me tell you a little about our BFF...

Our BFF is a raging douchebag.

He acts like a little ol' golly gee shucks country boy, who doesn't know any better. But let's face it, a pile of shit is a pile of shit whether it was dropped off on a farm or on a metropolitan avenue.

Our BFF also happens to be a liar.

He tells you one thing, and then you believe me because well, look how he dumb he is! He could never pull one over on some sharp cats like us... But then he does, again and again, and we fall for it each and every time.

People consider our BFF to be one of the greatest football players of all-time.

He has great stats. But he also has terrible stats. To be fair, he is also one of the worst football players of all-time and has even cost at least one coach his job.

Our BFF is sometimes referred to as a "Gunslinger".

The reason for this is because of is ornery personality and his penchant for choking in the clutch, but not because he has any history of ever actually having slung guns.

Our BFF is also referred to as a "Cumbubbler", a "Cocksucker", a "Phony excuse for a human being", and potentially a "Baby-Killer".

The reason for this is because he is in fact, ALL of the above.

Our BFF is not welcome in his (soon-to-be) new home.

The people there have hated him forever. But since their home team has sucked forever, they will probably come to love him. Until he undoubtedly destroys their season sometime around week 15... Or earlier.

Our BFF is only welcome in one place.

These people still fucking LOVE him, even though he attempted to sabotage their efforts to replace him and even provided inside tips to divisional opponents during the previous season. As fate would have it, those tips were of no help. But love him they still do... Because they're dumb.

Our BFF has a name, but you will never see it mentioned on this blog.

He is not worthy of having a human name any longer, because he is not a human. He is a flaming bag of douche, and will be referred to in kind. Besides, BFF is close enough.

For more info on our BFF, please consult the BFF homepage.

Fuck you, BFF.