Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Better Know a Hockey Team

Over the next few weeks, we hope to string together a few team profiles for this year's Stanley Cup "contenders", A) because what else are we supposed to do with our time and B) you need to know this information so that when the Stanley Cup playoffs do start you can enjoy them even more. Next up!


The Phlamers

It's so easy to hate the Flyers. At the same time it is so easy to fear them as well. They are an incredibly balanced squad filled with guys who can knock you out, as well as players that will score on you. In the case of Mike Richards, you have both. They lead the league in penalty in minutes which could suggest a weakness. But at the same time, they lead the league in short-handed goals, meaning that they'll still beat you even when they are a man down.

But there's something that feels illegitimate about the Flyers at the same time. As if they were destined only to play spoiler in the playoffs, and that they don't truly have a shot. The tougher teams tend to be defensive-minded, but the Flyers, on the other hand, score goals, and on the flip side, allow goals... Lots of em. So the Flyers seem to be a contradiction, and as a result, I don't really know what to make of them. Maybe this is where the fear comes from.

Why they are Contenders: Because they score on anyone. Currently, the Flyers have 6 players with over 20 goals scored. By the end of the year they will most likely have 4 players with over 30 goals. Also, they have a very strong record against two of the East's top teams. For some reason they give the Devils fits, and they managed to split the season series with the Bruins 2-2. Perhaps most importantly, the Flyers can and will stand up to any team. They can hit and they can fight, and basically they can just beat you up. In a 7-game series this is a serious advantage and could cause trouble for just about any opponent.

Why Caps fans should be nervous: Because they allow over 32 shots a game on net. I'm guessing that the reason for this is because it seems like more often than not, they're on the penalty kill. Sure they score some shorthanded goals, but come on, this isn't a viable gameplan. "I challenge you to a duel. But before we do this thing, go ahead and chop off one of my hands." Silly bastards. Plus, the Flyers have been less than impressive against some of the playoff locks including the Canadiens and Penguins. So unless the Flyers can keep their elbows down and their hormones in check, then they're just going to open themselves up to a vulnerability that a playoff team cannot afford. Oh, and their goaltending? Meh.

Players to watch:

Mike Richards
- There's nothing not to like about the guy. He's primarily a playmaker, but he's also a goal scorer, and especially when shorthanded. Of the Flyers 16 shorthands goals, Richards has 7 of them... SEVEN! I don't even know what to do with that other than to exclaim it. Not only does he make plays, but he's a natural leader on the ice. And he will put you on your ass. In fact, he did it twice to the Bruins the other night. Now only if his team had the same kind of maturity...


Scott Hartnell
- You can't miss this asshole, with his long hair, lame viser, and generally disagreeable style of play. He's got over 100 PIMs, but he's still going to get 30 goals and 30 assists this season. Not too shabby for a douchebag. Be sure to keep an eye for this guy around the net. He's got a nose for the goal. And if he doesn't score, he'll be the one throwing jabs with his gloves still on. He'll also be the one flat on his ass after the opposing defenseman has enough of it.

Dan Carcillo - This guy is kind of a badass. He's not much for making plays (3 goals, 10 assists), but he does lead the league in penalty minutes... And by far with 230 (last season, he had over 300, so somehow he has actually cleaned up his act). Typically I would hate a guy like Carcillo but two things prevent me from doing so. He's only 6'0 tall, but will take just about anybody on, and also, he's not a cheap shot artist. He takes people head on and seems to be very casual about his business, never taking anything too personally. And I admire that in a goon.

Clips of the season:


Riley Cote only gets his ass beat


What a Dumbass

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