Angels In the Outhouse (Because they're surrounded by shit)
What can be said about the AL West that should never have been said already? You got three below average teams who, lately, have just been downright putrid. Moneyball has been transformed into an annual fire sale, the Rangers powerball system has been about as fortunate as I am with a lottery ticket, and sushiball, well let's just say it stinks. And look what we have at the top of the division, a team more interested in making excuses for their post-season misfortunes due to the fact that they are annually OWNED by the Bo Sox. So in essence, the great contribution the West has made to baseball in the last 10 years has been the Rally Monkey... I'm no longer sure that I have the will to continue with this preview.Quick question before we begin for those fans of AL West ball clubs; have you even started reading this preview yet, or have you already skipped to the 4th and 5th paragraphs, as it is customary to never start from the beginning when it comes to baseball with you clowns? Just checking. Hmmmm... How will this spiral of suck shape up in the end?
4. Drunken Sailors
Erik Bedard makes $7 million a year to pitch occassionally. King Felix dominates regularly and makes a half million per year. Gotta love baseball because it makes basketball looks reasonable, and anything that is capable of such a feat should impress each and everyone one of us. Okay, okay... How can I avoid talking about the rest of this team...? Hmmmm... Let's talk history! Remember when Bret Boone came to the Mariners back in '01 and started tearing the cover off the ball? The previous year he hit 19 homers. The NEXT year he hits 37 and drives in 141 runners. Congrats, Mr. Boone, and welcome to Brady Anderson's "Wow, I didn't do a very good job of concealing the fact that I'm on steroids" Club.
They don't have the power to do any damage. They don't have the pitching staff to shutdown opponents. And they didn't make any big moves in the offseason in order to address any of these concerns. But, you do have the necessary nostalgia to get you through the first months of the season by having Junior back. Unfortunately, nostalgia blinds us all. And by the time everyone snaps out of it, the season will all be over and we'll be debating who wants to beat up Ichiro the most. Can't wait for July!
3. Mean Gene Oakland
Now, I really feel like I should be dropping these jerks even lower after what their GM did last year. Let's look at who the A's no longer have on their pitching staff:
Harden
Blanton
Gaudin
Haren
Zito
Mulder
Hudson
Lilly
Harang
Now, some of those guys never would have worn an A's uniform unless one of the others was traded. And also, it looks as if shedding some of these contracts was a good idea, but just look at those names! You can see how Bill Beane got his reputation, and now you can see why he is about to lose it, because I am not even sure what to make of the A's pitching staff this year. Now, I also didn't recognize any of the aforementioned names prior to them pitching for Oakland, so maybe he's got something in store for us... But I doubt it.
However, he did manage to make an absolute mockery of his payroll by pulling down burnt out stars and semi-stars such as Jason Giambi, Nomar, and Orlando Cabrera. Oh and let us not forget how he picked up Matt Holliday for one year's mercenary work before he goes over to the American League to play for either the Red Sox or Yankees. Nice work, Billy boy. Enjoy that return to obscurity.
2. The Gun Show
Color me absolutely intrigued by the Texas Rangers. I know. I know. They've been applying the same muscle-bound, brainless policies for about a decade now with little, to lots of embarrassing results. Sign home run hitters, let them swing away, lost every game 9-7 because our pitching is atrocious. Now, they really haven't done much to address their pitching staff. From what I can gather Kerry Millwood is still their ace. Stop. Read that previous sentence again. Okay, proceed... This year it seems that combined with the sorry state of the AL West, and the bats that the Rangers have compiled over the last two years, they could possibly make a decent run at the Wild Card. I mean, they won't. But, it's fun to think about.
Byrd, Young, Cruz, Murphy, Kinsler, Blalock, Salty, ANDRUW JONES. With the exception of the latter, these boys are all young and can stroke it at least on occasion. This will be a very difficult order to run through unscathed. The only problem is, will there pus-filled rotation and bullpen be able to preserve the leads that they will surely generate? Forgive me, but if you think that a guy named Joakim is gonna sure up either your 8 or 9-hole, and if you think you're getting anything but meltdowns from Spazbow, then I'm sorry, but you set yourself up for this huge letdown. And which pitcher makes the most money in the rotation? Vicente Padilla? Yikes. Here's your safest bet; in the early going, take the over anytime the Rangers are playing. Oh, and I was just kidding about that Wild Card thing.
1. The Whahmbulance Chasers
Big question; are the Angels, with the loss of both K Rod and Tex, weaker than they were last year? Bigger question; due to the appallingly low level of talent in the rest of the division, does that even matter? Texieira and Rodriguez have been replaced by Brian Fuentes and Bobby Abreu, both of which are probably the equivalent of trying to fill potholes with play-doh. But when the rest of your division is forced to play on dirt roads, you can afford a few cracks in the asphalt.
The Angels have a superior pitching staff to most teams in the Bigs, even with Lackey and Santana a bit dinged up to start the season. And even with the loss of K Rod, their bullpen is still solid with Shieldsy holding down the setup role, and even if/when Fuents falters, this Arredondo guy looks like he could step in at anytime. Not sure who their first baseman is this year, but the infield looks to be solid, as well as interchangeable (Figgins, Izturis, Kendrick, Aybar, Figueroa). With the lack of power coming from an aging and overrated outfield, it looks like small ball will be the name of the game for Los Angeles. But again, even if Vlady's caveman-like life expectancy should prove true and Torii never fully recovers his vision, the Angels should have the juice to wrap up the division, even though they're going to lose in the first round of the playoffs again.
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