Communiques de Deuce

Last night during the epic (read: sloppy) battle between the Celts and Bulls, Deuce and I text battled. I was also taking down a Bruins hockey game at the same time as well, but there ain't no shame in my game, so I rose to the occasion. Anyway, I will transcribe and annotate (deDeuce) the texts that I received during the game below, and then share some additional thoughts in the postscript.

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I fire off a few volleys before Deuce has the opportunity to respond, but the tone is set...

I inform him that the two TV's I am watching are on a 3-second delay, and that this concerns me greatly:

6:59 PM: I'm the Real Bill Patrick

Pro Hockey or Pro Basketball player?

7:06 PM: Hockey (for racist reasons)

7:08 PM: (And for sexist reasons)

Deuce's natural habitat happens to be the arctic due to his physical composition as well as due to the identity of his power animal:

7:11 PM: I'd refuse skates

7:13 PM: [Big Baby] shoots like a fat Marion

7:15 PM: That's weak as shit

(Apparently the refs dared to call a foul on the greatest point guard in NBA history... or something)

Game could be getting out of hand

7:25 PM: Yeah. Especially since we're doing our nonchalant bullshit

Apparently Deuce plays for the Bulls already, rendering my initial query to the strictly "academic" realm.

Still the first quarter, and the C's are running the Bulls... at the moment.

7:25 PM: Jesus. Doubling [us] up on shot attempts

7:27 PM: Rondo needs to push it every possession

Don't tell my point guard what to do...

7:31 PM: Rebound MOTHER FUCKERS!

Bulls were out-rebounded in the game 50-36

I mention something about this game being a slopfest...

7:34 PM: Speaking of undisciplined; Gordon on the break defines it 7:34 PM: Well, this is Foreboding

Celts 34, Bulls 25

Pace is furious, and Celts are running them

7:35 PM: Rondo should play soccer...

(No, he didn't get hurt yet)

7:38 PM: (Tears...)

7:39 PM: The lost art of the... right-handed dribble

Silence...

7:52 PM: Bulls are wicked predictable sometimes.

I think he means, ALL the time

7:53 PM: Get. Tyrus. Off. The. Court. NOW.

Del Negro listens...

8:05 PM: [Rondo's] fine.

He is... Celts 48, Bulls 42

8:14 PM: Eddie House is chucking it all over.

Just like in his glory days back in AZ.

Celts are struggling since half of their team is hurt... I'm getting annoyed and start making excuses...

8:27 PM: ... Playing against your second team

Where the fuck is Pierce?

8:44 PM: He's about to become a serious problem for us

Noah and Perk mix it up... sort of.

8:49 PM: Everything about that call was wrong. Noah didn't say a word. Or commit a foul.

8:51 PM: [Text of the Night] Getting Blow-Javied

8:56 PM: Ray Ray is about to win this game for you.

And all of you, too...

Chicago needs to grow up a bit... Celts 80, Bulls 78

9:02 PM: Agreed

9:07 PM: Big Baby is killing me

Usually he's killing me, so I take this as good news.

9:13 PM: I think I hate Perkins.

Silence... Intensity is too much for texting...

Desperation sets in.

9:35 PM: Not over the back?!

Celts 100, Bulls 101

Ball game.

9:53 PM: That's annoying

Go enjoy the rest of your 420, Deuce... They fought the good fight
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So, just some questions that remain...

Does Rondo actually work for the Celtics? It seems that his style of play is incompatible, specifically with their current roster minus KG. Rondo likes to run the floor, and Pierce clearly does not, so I am wondering; considering the pace at which the game operated for the first 18 minutes or so, is this the reason why Paul was so... absent? Even with the win, is such a relationship sustainable?

Has Doc Rivers ever watched the Bulls play basketball? The Bulls are a putrid team defensively, but can be semi-explosive on the offensive side. What do you do in that instance? Take Steve Nash for example. Can't play defense, but can kill you on offense. The teams that have effectively neutralized the Suns over the years, WORK Nash on the other side of the court. This takes away his edge when on offense. Doc should be pounding Gordon and Poohdini when they are on defense. Create mismatches, post up, wear them out. This is what coaches do. React, Doc!

Where should I make Deuce fly after the Celts take it in 7?

Follow up, after this series goes 7 and the Celts are worn out, do the Bulls still get credit for ending their season?

Go Bruins!