Alright, relax ladies. This will not be a post revealing what Stafford looks like under his fatsuit, so you can put the Silver Bullet away. Or, just close your eyes and imagine the brother from My Name Is Earl in the buff. That oughta be close enough. On second thought...how many women outside of the Athens, GA area who are OVER the age of 17 might actually find Stafford to be an attractive human being? O/U a dozen?
With the draft approaching tomorrow, I feel called....nay, OBLIGATED to expose the inevitable #1 overall pick for the hack he is. Now, I'd like to believe that I've watched more hours of college football than the average human over the past 4 years. And thanks to CBS, the SEC has been a staple of my fall Saturdays. Matthew Stafford is not a good quarterback. Well, he's good. But he's not great, and might not even be above average, and certainly isn't worthy of the #1 overall pick (and the forty-some million dollars tied to it).
I have never, and that's no hyperbole, NEVER watched a Georgia football game and found myself thinking "Shit, that Stafford is really something special" or "Wow! Stafford just picked that defense apart!" or even "Stafford has been the best player on the field today." More often than not, my reaction has usually been something to the effect of "Do you think he bet on this game?" or "How hungover do you think Stafford is right now?" or even "I wonder if Georgia can pull out this barnburner against Auburn IN SPITE of their asshole quarterback?"
But, don't take my word for it. I'm the same guy who publicly fellated Derrick Rose less than a week ago, and now have the mouth herpes to show for it. Let's go to the numbers!
Stafford's 2008 QB Rating: 153.54
# of QB's with a better '08 QB Rating: 14...including the Mighty Joe Ganz of Nebraska, Chase Clement from the high-powered Rice Owls and Case Keenum from Houston.
Stafford's 2008 TD Passes: 25
QB's who threw more: 16...including those mentioned above, as well as Tim Hiller, Trevor Vittatoe, Mike Teel, Drew Willy and Chase Holbrook.
Stafford's 2008 Completion Percentage: 61.4 %...behind 41 other Division 1 QB's.
Not convinced you say?
- Stafford threw more interceptions than half of the quarterbacks in Division I last season.
- Stafford threw 51 touchdown passes in 3 years at UGA...and 33 interceptions. For a sparkling ratio of 1 INT for ever 1.54 TD's. And that was in college.
- With Stafford at the helm, the Bulldogs have underachieved each of the past 3 seasons. For those who don't remember, Georgia was a preseason #1 last season and widely predicted to at least play for the Crystal Football...not lose to South Carolina.
- Oh, and he's fat.
I tried not to turn this into a personal attack (whoops). But Stafford going to Detroit #1 overall is a damn travesty. The guy wasn't even the best QB in his conference last season. His favorite play is to heave the ball as far as he can towards his taller, more talented WR's and pray for PI. Do the Lions need a QB badly? Of course. But that's no excuse to pay millions of dollars to some yahoo who has never lived up to the hype or potential that is seemingly attached to him, for whatever reasons.
As a Bears fan, I look forward to years of Stafford bumbling around Ford Field. As a fan of football, and a proponent of smart decisions, I implore the fans of Detroit; if Stafford is the first name called tomorrow....burn that fucker down.
Did Deuce just post a blog?
ReplyDeleteWhile I agree with much of your assessment of Stafford, you fail to point out the reason he is being looked at as the potential number one pick of the draft. It has less to do with his numbers on the field as it does with his measurables. He was one of the top recruited QB's coming out of high school in Texas. He's big and has an off the charts arm. You can't teach arm strength, nor can you teach size. Stafford did nothing short of underachieve at Georgia...but let's get one thing clear, the kid started three years at qb for a strong SEC team, playing against the best defenses in the country for three years. Now I am not saying Stafford is the man, but the level of competition for three years, his size and arm strength make him the most NFL ready of any of the QB's in this year's draft...what he does from there remains to be seen.
ReplyDeleteIf I am running the Lions, I take the OT Smith from Baylor, and a D lineman or Linebacker with my next pick. In reality, the Lions are going nowhere fast, and Colt Mcoy, Sam Bradford will be available next year with the Lion's likely number one overall pick. Then I move the franchise to Hartford CT.
I did fail to mention that. But height, weight, arm strength...those are all just numbers.
ReplyDeleteIf Stafford the most NFL-ready of this year's draft? Probably, but this year that's like being the smartest kid with Down syndrome. And ultimately unworthy of the #1 overall. Plus he reminds me of Jay Cutler.
South Carolina did not beat UGA last year so while they didn't live up the pre-season #1 that dispute is off-base. Additionally, it's hard to argue that Stafford was the main reason for all the injuries the dawgs suffered last year. It's also not his fault that in UGA's three losses last year the defense allowed 41, 49, and 45 points.
ReplyDeleteWhile numbers aren't everything, I'd have to think that he would throw for more TDs if he wasn't sharing the stage with Danny Ware, Kregg Lumpkin, and ultimately Knowshon Moreno (three NFL backs).