SB:Hey there folks, and welcome back to baseball tonight!
Steve Berthiaume here with John Kruk, Fernando Vina, and Dave Winfield.
Lots of interesting story lines early on isn't that right, Kruky?
JK: You know, Steve, I think the BIGGEST issue I'm seeing is with the Cubs. I mean, 18 games into the season and they're a .500 ball club. I mean, they have a huge payroll, a great pitching staff, and very good lineup, but they just can't seem to get it together. I mean, they might not ever win another game.
SB: Thanks, Kruky. And now for some analysis of Derek Lee's struggles at the plate, we shoot over to Fernando Vina.
FV: THANKS, STEVIE! DEREK LEE IS REALLY STRUGGLING AT THE PLATE, AND IT LOOKS LIKE HIS ME, UH, MECHANICS ARE THE PROBLEM. IF YOU WATCH THE VIDEO HERE... YEAH, RIGHT HERE. LOOK! YOU SEE THAT RIGHT THERE! TH... AH, THAT'S THE PROBLEM. DEREK LEE KEEPS DROPPING HIS ELBOW AT THE LAST PLAU... AH, POSSIBLE MOMENT BEFORE THE BALL GETS TO THE PLATE... UH HUH...
SB: Yes... Ah, thanks, Fernando. Dave Winfield? What do you think about the Cubs struggles so far?
DW: Awwww yeah. Listen up everybody. So one time when I was on the road with the Padres, we were struggling early on. Back then, you see, we didn't have all these trainers, and I mean shoot, we didn't even have game film. I mean this was WAY back. But you see, what we DID have was a sassy girl by the name of Sheena G. Man, this woman would do WONDERS for our ball club. Two at a time... Three at a time... It just didn't matter...
SB: Okay, thank you, Da...
DW: Now hold on, young buck... What I am trying to say this is that all you need is some relaxation and focus. Sheena demanded performance just as big league baseball does. But in order to do so, you needed to be relaxed. And that's all these Cubbies need. A little relaxation, and some prostitution probably wouldn't hurt either.
SB: Thank you, gentlemen. Changing gears, we have a team on the other side of the league that appears to be unstoppable at the moment in the Boston Red Sox. Feranando, what has been the key to the Bo Sox success up to this point.
FV: PITCHING AND FIELDING, I MEAN, HITTING, STEVE. THESE GUYS WILL EITHER PITCH YOU TO DEATH OR HIT YOU TO DEATH. IF YOU LOOK AT THE JOSH BUCHOLZ, I MEAN, BECKETT, WE SEE THAT EVEN WITH HIS STRUGGLES, THE RED SOX JUST REFUSE TO LOSE. THEY MIGHT NEVER LOST ANOTHER GAME EVER AGAIN.
DW: And I would just to say that when I was in Boston, I used to visit the Lizard Lounge over in Cambridge, and let me just tell you, that was not just a clever name...
SB: Okay before that goes any farther, Kruky, what do you have to say about Boston?
JK: Best team ever, Steve. I don't want to hear about how "early" it is in the season, or about the early "struggles" of guys like Beckett and Lester. I have never seen such domination. And, I mean, what do they have now? 11 straight wins? I mean, like Fernando said, they might never lose another game ever again. They're just that amazing. Sorry, Yankee fans.
SB: Thanks, gentlemen. This just in, the Sox have lost to the Indians in the bottom of 9th on an error by Javier Lopez. Sorry Kruky.
SB: Thanks for joining us tonight everybody. We will see you back here tomorrow. Please don't switch over to MLB Roundtripper because I promise you that it is even worse. Good night now!
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