Conscientious Objections with Benny DC

Every month or so we will be receiving a contribution from my friend and fellow bleeding heart, Benny DC. He'll be acting as the angel on your shoulder, questioning your moral character, the import of your actions, and generally just pissing you off. However, we here at Five Second Delay feel the need to provide contrasting opinions, so long as we get to decide when and how that opinion is transmitted. It's been a while since Mr. DC has graced us with his fine brand of patronism literature so be sure to soak this one up. Do it to us, Benny:

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Apparently, you all are still here. Or at least, B. Lee still sees fit to waste his superior writing talents preaching to a quietly spinning and unresponsive world wide web. Perhaps if he wrote about something meaningful, people would pay attention.

Here is what I know about recent sporting events:

1) the Pawtucket Red Sox put on a helluva fireworks show for the Fourth of July this weekend. (Just to clarify for you regular readers: that is not a bad sports metaphor, it’s a note on pyrotechnics.)

2) Roger Federer won at Wimbledon, which is a big deal because now he’s the winning-est tennis player ever or something. Maybe he can afford a haircut now. Boom.

3) Kobe was in the NBA finals, but I had to bing who won the title. Really. That happened. I used bing as a verb in a hope they’ll spread some of their American Recovery and Reinvestment-sized promotional budget on sponsoring this (highly ir)regular column.

Here’s what I’m really trying to say: You guys really think that spending your evenings and weekends watching young men with their beautifully sculpted bodies perform physical acts of impressiveness against each other isn’t part of some repressed homoerotic fantasy?

Here’s what I mean: Me fishing last weekend is better than you watching the “local team play ball” because while we both had livers full of Sam Adams seasonal, I was enjoying the sun on my face, the breeze on my cockles, and the actual experience that I was having out on the water hauling bass. You were living vicariously through John Lester. On TV.

Or maybe this is it: In midst of the death of a quarterback and a pop star, did we all forget that there’s a few folks in Iran pulling for democracy? That maybe our attention to them, our caring, was kind of important to their revolution? That international soccer was a REALLY big deal for a second there?

You all keep chugging along though. Because the NBA off-season matters . . .

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Thanks again, Benny. It's clear that your excitement over Sheed's arrival in Boston is as palpable as our own. And for the record, fishing is not a sport. Until next time!