All we wanna do, is sit on my couch, eat some beef ribs, and watch some pre-season football. But is that possible? Not if the suits over at Comcast and the NFL Network have their way.
No, sir. For you see, BIG Cable and the NFL have teamed up once again to stick it to the lil man. Because, in all honesty, all I wanna to do is watch the future non-member of my FIGHTIN' Texans' secondary go up against the future 4th wide receiver of the San Fagcisco Sixty-Niners. That's it. That some kinda crime 'er sumthin?
That's right, folks. The NFL Network has claimed exclusive ryghts to every pre-season game from now all the way up until opening night. I'm callin it a liberal, Obama conspiracy. Pansies hate football is all that is. And they hate free football more'n anything.
First the feds make us git rid of our ol' rabbit ears, and we say, "fine." Now, they's tryin to make us git some big ass cable package. Nuh uh. Nosiree. In this 'conomy, they thinkin' we can afford this buuullshit? Man, I don't even like that Rick Eisen and Deion's clothes makes my eyes hurt.
So, NFL, if you's thinkin you can pork us, and refuse me my disalienable ryght to pre-season football, then you's damn fool. I'm gonna go git me some UFL, and you'lls a come runnin'.
And another thing, we don't need no Latina judges!
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