Obama Handout Culture Infiltrates NHL

Via ESPN

The Coyotes have been a financial disaster (in addition to an absolute abomination) since they arrived in the Valley of the Suck back in 1996. But what do you expect when your head coach and part-owner is throwing down thousands of dollars on Super Bowl coin tosses? Oh, forgive me, that's right, it was his wife, and he had nothing to do with it. I know that MY wife is always the one accruing the gambling debts while I'm the one watching football.

Anyhoo, the NHL is tossing money at the Coyotes in order to save this once, well, potentially proud organization. My question is, somewhere in Canada there are real hockey fans who would love to host an NHL hockey team, or another hockey team for that matter; so why not use that money to drop the Sunbelt experiment and slide a team up north to the place where the NHL was born? Quebec city, Winnipeg, Toronto, shit Saskatoon would probably do a better job than this sorry excuse for a city. And what's one more vacant mansion in the Valley anyway, am I right?

I once attended a hockey game at the "Jobing.com Arena" (a little suggestive, even for Phoenix don't you think?), and the atmosphere could be best characterized as an 80's rock concert meets Monday Night Raw. If, you know, both the concert and the wrestling event were mostly empty and filled with people who only sort of cared that the show were actually taking place.

Another question, why would you ever put a hockey rink in the Valley of the Sun? Hockey rinks need ICE, and you put a hockey rink in the desert? Insane (see above).

And lastly, why is Phoenix even called the Valley of the Sun anyway? Was it because Silicon Valley was already taken? Yeah, maybe.

The Hyperbolic Chamber

SB:Hey there folks, and welcome back to baseball tonight!

Steve Berthiaume here with John Kruk, Fernando Vina, and Dave Winfield.

Lots of interesting story lines early on isn't that right, Kruky?

JK: You know, Steve, I think the BIGGEST issue I'm seeing is with the Cubs. I mean, 18 games into the season and they're a .500 ball club. I mean, they have a huge payroll, a great pitching staff, and very good lineup, but they just can't seem to get it together. I mean, they might not ever win another game.

SB: Thanks, Kruky. And now for some analysis of Derek Lee's struggles at the plate, we shoot over to Fernando Vina.

FV: THANKS, STEVIE! DEREK LEE IS REALLY STRUGGLING AT THE PLATE, AND IT LOOKS LIKE HIS ME, UH, MECHANICS ARE THE PROBLEM. IF YOU WATCH THE VIDEO HERE... YEAH, RIGHT HERE. LOOK! YOU SEE THAT RIGHT THERE! TH... AH, THAT'S THE PROBLEM. DEREK LEE KEEPS DROPPING HIS ELBOW AT THE LAST PLAU... AH, POSSIBLE MOMENT BEFORE THE BALL GETS TO THE PLATE... UH HUH...

SB: Yes... Ah, thanks, Fernando. Dave Winfield? What do you think about the Cubs struggles so far?

DW: Awwww yeah. Listen up everybody. So one time when I was on the road with the Padres, we were struggling early on. Back then, you see, we didn't have all these trainers, and I mean shoot, we didn't even have game film. I mean this was WAY back. But you see, what we DID have was a sassy girl by the name of Sheena G. Man, this woman would do WONDERS for our ball club. Two at a time... Three at a time... It just didn't matter...

SB: Okay, thank you, Da...

DW: Now hold on, young buck... What I am trying to say this is that all you need is some relaxation and focus. Sheena demanded performance just as big league baseball does. But in order to do so, you needed to be relaxed. And that's all these Cubbies need. A little relaxation, and some prostitution probably wouldn't hurt either.

SB: Thank you, gentlemen. Changing gears, we have a team on the other side of the league that appears to be unstoppable at the moment in the Boston Red Sox. Feranando, what has been the key to the Bo Sox success up to this point.

FV: PITCHING AND FIELDING, I MEAN, HITTING, STEVE. THESE GUYS WILL EITHER PITCH YOU TO DEATH OR HIT YOU TO DEATH. IF YOU LOOK AT THE JOSH BUCHOLZ, I MEAN, BECKETT, WE SEE THAT EVEN WITH HIS STRUGGLES, THE RED SOX JUST REFUSE TO LOSE. THEY MIGHT NEVER LOST ANOTHER GAME EVER AGAIN.

DW: And I would just to say that when I was in Boston, I used to visit the Lizard Lounge over in Cambridge, and let me just tell you, that was not just a clever name...

SB: Okay before that goes any farther, Kruky, what do you have to say about Boston?

JK: Best team ever, Steve. I don't want to hear about how "early" it is in the season, or about the early "struggles" of guys like Beckett and Lester. I have never seen such domination. And, I mean, what do they have now? 11 straight wins? I mean, like Fernando said, they might never lose another game ever again. They're just that amazing. Sorry, Yankee fans.

SB: Thanks, gentlemen. This just in, the Sox have lost to the Indians in the bottom of 9th on an error by Javier Lopez. Sorry Kruky.

(Unwitty Banter)

SB: Thanks for joining us tonight everybody. We will see you back here tomorrow. Please don't switch over to MLB Roundtripper because I promise you that it is even worse. Good night now!

An Alternative to Grades

We don't believe in "grades" here at Free Spirit Academy. We feel that grades only serve to confine the soul, and restrict real emotional and social development. Instead we explore a truly developmental path with our students in hopes of augmenting the maturation process and removing the restrictions, as well as the anti-progressive nature of the rigid pass-fail framework, so that in time we can all become responsible adults, allowing us to make sound judgments and informed decisions.


It is with this backdrop in mind, that ESPN has allowed us to take a look at some of the NFL's draft picks, organization by organization, in order to assess the quality of these selections, not to condemn or marginalize, but rather to improve their outlook and hopefully enhance the quality of their decisions in the future.

So let's get started shall we?

The New York Jets: Sparkling.

Even in your young age, you continue to impress and please. A defensive-minded coach takes the reigns, adds wisdom and athleticism to one side of the ball in free agency, and THEN picks a quarterback in the first-round?! We are just so impressed with your balance. You took initiative, and added value to your team. Your parents are going to be so proud of you.

The Houston Texans: Glowing.

You have taken such great steps since you have been in the league. Even with your, let's call it, questionable first pick ever, you have persevered and continued to push ahead, even when people have nothing good to say about your decisions. I'm looking at your Mr. Super Mario!

You located your problems and have decided to meet them head on, bolstering your defense and improving the positive vibes in your front office. Keep it up because everything is bigger in Texas, especially that number in the "W" column.

The New England Patriots: Steady

Oh Bill, you always have us fooled don't you. You walk to the beat of your own grumpy drum, and that is just fine with the Academy. You work with an eye toward the future, knowing that the present is only what is right under your nose, but that the future extends beyond what your watchful eyes can see. No linebackers? No problem. One will come around in time. And just look at the diversity in your picks. Willing to take a chance on a problem child. You are a saint, indeed. Good luck, Bill. Although we all know that you won't need it.

The Dallas Cowboys: Curious.

But in a good way! You tried to do the best with what you had, and that is noble. But I think we learned a valuable lesson in foresight, right? It's important to be happy in the now, but of course the future is where we want to be happy. Look at your classmate, Mr. Belichick. He understands this better than anyone. Maybe we should have you two sit next to each other. But, you tried to make the best with what you had, and you did your best, even if your best isn't good enough.

The Denver Broncos: Interesting...

Okay, I'm not mad at you, but I think we can make better decisions. Mr. Moreno may have a very productive football career, and perhaps Mr. Ayers can add to your pass rush in the short term, but I feel as if we did not necessarily address your needs properly. We all have needs that need be addressed, and while running backs can be fun, fun is not worth much when your defense is getting gashed and your offense is never on the field, and even when it is, your quarterback stinks...

Okay, I apologize. Your future is very bright, and you are the shining light at the end of your fans' tunnel.

The Oakland Raiders: Ahm...

Are you actually enrolled here at the Academy? Oh, you are? Cause I don't see you on the... Okay, so you are under LA Raiders still. Okay, we'll get that fixed...

Wow, I am not sure sure what you did here... Are you sure you should be here? I mean, what the fuck? No, I'm not even sorry about this. You are utterly hopeless. You're old and anachronistic, and you have lost your mind completely. I mean, CRABTREE IS RIGHT THERE! TAKE HIM!

That's it, just go away. Seriously, get out of my sight. You just ruined my day. You get an "F." Leave.

The Thorny Goat

Sit back my friends and listen to this tale of woe. Life can hand people different things at birth. We all are assigned different lots. Some people are able to escape these assignments either through perseverance, or even sometimes blind luck. Other people are confined to their lots like feather-less Chickens at a Purdue super-coup somewhere in lower Kentucky. Now depending on your station, certain people surely have a larger range of choices. If you're born under a bad sign, then maybe circumstances can get the better of you. Sure, you still have choices, but sometimes you just end up picking one poison or the other. If you're born with that proverbial silver spoon, well then the world is your playground, and you are free to run around on that playground as you please. But this isn't to say that your actions are free from scrutiny. Certainly not. For the lens of the public eye is all seeing. And no one escapes it.

And sometimes there's a man. I won't say say jerk off, because what's a jerk off? But, sometimes there's a man... Oh hell, I'll just let the numbers and maybe a personal anecdote or two tell the story.

The Thorny Goat came into the league drafted #1 overall, and fulfilled his expectations early on, both on and off the ice. In his first 3 full seasons with the Bruins, he averaged 57 points a season. He even helped the Bruins get passed the first round of the playoffs in '99, which as we all know, is no small feat. Not bad for someone unable to legally purchase alcohol in the United States.

In the next few seasons, his regular season success continued, averaging over 80 points a season, and certainly confirming the Bruins decision to draft the Thorny Goat at the number one spot in the '97 draft. However, regular season success never really seemed to carry over into the post-season for the Thorny Goat, but at the time, one could never tell if that truly mattered.

In time, the relationship between the Bruins and their first love deteriorated. While the Bruins surely have developed a reputation for quitting while behind, it seems that the Thorny Goat may have been primarily responsible for the impending divorce. A quick story:

In the 2003-2004 season the Bruins were storming along in fine fashion come April of 2004. They won the Atlantic Division, and narrowly missed the number 1 overall seed in the Eastern Conference Playoffs to the eventual Stanley Cup champions, the Tampa Bay Lightning. Just as the playoffs were to begin, Boston was to host the NCAA Frozen Four, featuring hometown favorites Boston College. In order to prepare for the event, the crew at the (then) Fleet Center needed to paint the NCAA emblem at center ice in preparation for the games.

So prior to one practice, the Thorny Goat notices cones setup around the perimeter of center ice, and asks in not-so friendly terms just what was going on. A member of the bull gang responds that the paint needs time to dry and so they put up cones so that the Bruins players can try and avoid the middle of the ice. The Thorny Goat kindly responds, "Well, if I need to skate through the center of the ice, then I'm just going to go ahead and do it." Ever the magnanimous one.

After the Bruins choked away a 3-1 series lead to the Habs in the first round of the playoffs in 2004, the Thorny Goat was sent off to warmer climes come the middle of the 2004-2005 season. Whether it was due to money or irreconcilable differences, one cannot be sure. But chances are that it was combination of the two.

So, once provided with a new lease on life, the Thorny Goat quickly acclimated to his surroundings, scoring 92 points in under 60 games for the San Jose Sharks. And over the next few seasons, the Thorny Goat continued to be the primary point-getter and playmaker for the Sharks, leading them to the playoffs in each season from 2006-2009.

However, much like his days in Boston, the Thorny Goat's regular season successes never quite translated to the postseason. In 9 playoff appearances, the Thorny Goat has amassed a record of 34-43. Twice the Thorny Goat has been on top-seeded teams, and on both occasions has been bounced from the playoffs in the first round (2002 and 2009). Twice the Thorny Goat has been on 2nd-seeded teams, but in both instances his teams would suffer 2nd-round eliminations (2004 and 2008). To this day, the Thorny Goat has not reached a Conference Final.

However, there is still time for the Thorny Goat. He will celebrate his 30th birthday this July, and as we all know, hockey players can play well into their 30's, and sometimes 40's. So, while the Stanley Cup may have alluded the Thorny Goat up until this point, one can see that time may still be on his side.


So, keep amassing those individual accolades, young Thorny Goat. It is only a matter of time until your hard work and patience pays off. But one thing is for certain, if this observer has his way, you will never even sniff a Stanley Cup. You are a chump and choker, who also happens to be kind of an asshole. And if you continue to be the goat like you have throughout your career in the playoffs up to this point, then I have nothing to worry about.

The First 100 Days

When we began this blog 100 days ago, the sports-blog-world was in disarray. People were unable to find the appropriate mix of news, analysis, and crass humor. However, under the FSD administration, we have radically shifted the way in which people are able to access these vital needs. We have delivered on our promises and we are redesigning the blogscape in our own, superior image.

Looking back at some of our accomplishments, we have raised awareness regarding the dangers of unprotected sex, and the absolute importance of a healthy environment.

We have illustrated the value of previously ignored issues, bringing their virtues to the forefront, while dismissing accepted falsehoods.

We have demonstrated a clear tolerance and embrace for diversity within our culture.

We have provided a platform for opposing opinions, ensuring that the elements within our culture who may share differing viewpoints are well represented, and do not go ignored.

And most importantly, we gave you essential inside info in order to boost your own economic vitality, by supplying the necessary tools and resources so that buy mama that new house she's always wanted.

And we do not plan on stopping here! No. We can NOT..

We must forge ahead because there are too many issues that need be addressed for us to sit back watching idly, while they receive the hack treatment. There are too many people out there that need the funny. And there are too many actors in the sports world that need to be exposed, for being the regular, overpaid people that they are.

Sure, our policies and practices will evolve over the course of our tenure. You may even disagree with some of our decisions. But there is one thing that will never change; we will continue to serve ourselves, exercising the utmost prejudice against your beliefs and notions of good taste. God bless you. And God bless this great blog. Thank you.

Why Hockey is Better than Your Favorite Sport

We- Got- Ovech-kin (Clap. Clap. Clap Clap Clap)



The Russian Machine knows no limits. What is important about this goal, besides the fact that it is something of sheer brilliance, is that at any point, Ovechkin could have had a shoulder slammed right into his grille, robbing him of some brain cells and probably some teeth as well. And this would have been well within the rules. But, he's too fast, strong, and skilled for this to happen.

I'm gonna go change my undies now...

Own Ya Instincts!

Ray, slow down a little please. I'm trying to enjoy this. I'm in the midst of probably the greatest stretches of my young career. Do you have any idea how much cabbage this series is gonna get me? Hey now chap, watch the teeth. Ahhhhhh, much better. Just take your time, and don't forget to tongue-slap the nuts every now and again. Mr. Calhoun would be extremely pleased, you've obviously acquired quite a talent at this over the years.

Oh, and Mr. Pierce? Please don't actually insert your tongue into my ass. Just a little rim play if you don't mind. Pun intended. And quit calling me Jason Terry.

Exposing Matthew Stafford

Alright, relax ladies. This will not be a post revealing what Stafford looks like under his fatsuit, so you can put the Silver Bullet away. Or, just close your eyes and imagine the brother from My Name Is Earl in the buff. That oughta be close enough. On second thought...how many women outside of the Athens, GA area who are OVER the age of 17 might actually find Stafford to be an attractive human being? O/U a dozen?

With the draft approaching tomorrow, I feel called....nay, OBLIGATED to expose the inevitable #1 overall pick for the hack he is. Now, I'd like to believe that I've watched more hours of college football than the average human over the past 4 years. And thanks to CBS, the SEC has been a staple of my fall Saturdays. Matthew Stafford is not a good quarterback. Well, he's good. But he's not great, and might not even be above average, and certainly isn't worthy of the #1 overall pick (and the forty-some million dollars tied to it).

I have never, and that's no hyperbole, NEVER watched a Georgia football game and found myself thinking "Shit, that Stafford is really something special" or "Wow! Stafford just picked that defense apart!" or even "Stafford has been the best player on the field today." More often than not, my reaction has usually been something to the effect of "Do you think he bet on this game?" or "How hungover do you think Stafford is right now?" or even "I wonder if Georgia can pull out this barnburner against Auburn IN SPITE of their asshole quarterback?"

But, don't take my word for it. I'm the same guy who publicly fellated Derrick Rose less than a week ago, and now have the mouth herpes to show for it. Let's go to the numbers!

Stafford's 2008 QB Rating: 153.54

# of QB's with a better '08 QB Rating: 14...including the Mighty Joe Ganz of Nebraska, Chase Clement from the high-powered Rice Owls and Case Keenum from Houston.

Stafford's 2008 TD Passes: 25

QB's who threw more: 16...including those mentioned above, as well as Tim Hiller, Trevor Vittatoe, Mike Teel, Drew Willy and Chase Holbrook.

Stafford's 2008 Completion Percentage: 61.4 %...behind 41 other Division 1 QB's.

Not convinced you say?

• Stafford threw more interceptions than half of the quarterbacks in Division I last season.
  
• Stafford threw 51 touchdown passes in 3 years at UGA...and 33 interceptions. For a sparkling ratio of 1 INT for ever 1.54 TD's. And that was in college.
• With Stafford at the helm, the Bulldogs have underachieved each of the past 3 seasons. For those who don't remember, Georgia was a preseason #1 last season and widely predicted to at least play for the Crystal Football...not lose to South Carolina.
• Oh, and he's fat.

I tried not to turn this into a personal attack (whoops). But Stafford going to Detroit #1 overall is a damn travesty. The guy wasn't even the best QB in his conference last season. His favorite play is to heave the ball as far as he can towards his taller, more talented WR's and pray for PI. Do the Lions need a QB badly? Of course. But that's no excuse to pay millions of dollars to some yahoo who has never lived up to the hype or potential that is seemingly attached to him, for whatever reasons.

As a Bears fan, I look forward to years of Stafford bumbling around Ford Field. As a fan of football, and a proponent of smart decisions, I implore the fans of Detroit; if Stafford is the first name called tomorrow....burn that fucker down.

Because I Spit Hot Fire

Who are the 5 greatest Point Guards of all-time?

Think about it...















D Rose...



















D Rose...

















D Rose.














D Rose.















D Rose.



BECAUSE I SPIT HOT FIRE!

That Being Said...

SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!



Komisarek only likes to take dudes from behind, which is why he had so much trouble with Lucic on this occasion. That's twice you been knocked the fuck out, son... I don't think a rematch is in your future.

See, this is where homerism can come in handy. Nobody likes the Canadiens. Canadians don't even like the Canadiens, and for good reason. I almost feel bad for the bastards, but every time I get that feeling it passes... quickly.

Pardon the Homerism

So, we never began this project with the intention of turning it into a polistic meditation on local sports teams, our individual hopes and fears, combined with a glaring distaste for divisional, regional, and historical rivals. In fact, the original intent was to be as anonymously mysterious as possible as to our whereabouts, affiliations, and orientation. We were to utilize this literary platform as an outlet to express our opinions, realize our creative capacities, and in some instances, just blow off some steam.


However, it seems that the playoffs bring out the animal within us all, forcing our passions to the forefront and bumping the balancing tendencies of our wisdom to the back of the bus. Our victory-starved attentions are devoted strictly to the prize at hand and we cannot be concerned with the menial details that often command our excitement-seeking minds, that are so easily led to wander during the stillness of the pre-elite season.

But the question is begged, does this apparent bias necessarily impact the quality and output of the project at hand, specifically the material put forth on this blog? The blogosphere is rife with sites devoted specifically to local coverage, and while some are crass exercises in over-the-top, manicheanism, specialization should not be dismissed outright. After all, while proximity can certainly restrain one from seeing the big picture, it can also produce a valuable microscopic viewpoint that allows the casual viewer the insight into the details that make a team or individual support-worthy and/or worthy of disdain... or even indifference.

What is more, is it easier to present a less biased scope of material if you happen to reside in an area, or if your support rests in an historically unsuccessful region? It is an absolute rule, that when your hometown team is not performing, your interest, and interest at large, declines. Call it being a fair-weather fan, but this phenomenon is completely natural. Sure, you still love your team, but in order to maintain a heightened interest in your sport of choice, you latch onto different aspects of the game. Maybe you begin closely following just one player from your team (In 2006, I became an early Rondo advocate in lieu of the C's dreadful performances) players from other teams in the league (the year prior I became a big Nash fan). It is almost as if your love of the game, while not allowing you to continuously support the floating turd that is your home team, pushes you toward something positive within that game. For the positive force of pulling for something, is so much greater than the negative energy of pushing against something. Generally, speaking.

On the flip side, and forgive this, but if you live in Boston where the Red Sox, Patriots, and Celtics have been having great success in recent years, the positive is provided to you without needing to hit the road in search of a new object in which to invest your passion. Therefore, your passions are occupied with something familiar, which you have essentially been trained, and even brain-washed, to love throughout your entire life. And so, you enjoy talking about it, and you are capable of doing so, and therefore, you do so. And if you are good at it, well then maybe you open a new minds in the process, or at least spur some healthy debate.

I am not saying that this validates the noticeable turn in content on this site. However, I am saying that there is a reason, which is at the very least is debatable, and should not be dismissed in this case. We will strive toward the objective more and more in the future as we mature, but allegiances will be apparent regardless of our best practices, and biases will be presented no matter how hard we fight against them. However, unless these tendencies lead to a clear and demonstrable reduction in quality of content, then all normative judgments should be left aside... and/or to yours truly.

Favorite Holidays with Josh Howard

What up citizens of the racist union we call America? Thanks for joining me in my luxury home theater. Shit is sweet, right? What a day to be inside, no doubt. Weather outside is a frightful 82 degrees, birds are chirping, 5-0 sirens be blarin'. Can't be getting caught up in all the drama that Mama Earf be tossin' at me... 'Specially not on a day like today. After all, it's Earf Day y'all!

White people always be telling me to respect the invi'ment. I tell them, "I do!" Anytime I get up inside my Escalade, to drive over to Sweet P's spot, I just can't help but think all that the Earf has given me and all that I give back to her. And then after I leave to head back home, after I enjoy the magic herbs that the Earf has provided to me, I get home, and drop some heat in the toy'lit. I mean shit, shit is what makes plants grow ain't it?! So you see, I give BACK to Mama Earf, each and e'rytime she give me what I need... Weed. Cause weed is from the Earf! God put that shit here for me... And for you!

So enjoy it y'all. Like my man Meth said, "Roll that shit. Light that shit. Smoke it." After all, Mama would never hurt her babies, and e'ry time you flush the toilet, you returnin the favor. So think GREEN e'rybody! After all, it's Earf Day Y'all.

Communiques de Deuce

Last night during the epic (read: sloppy) battle between the Celts and Bulls, Deuce and I text battled. I was also taking down a Bruins hockey game at the same time as well, but there ain't no shame in my game, so I rose to the occasion. Anyway, I will transcribe and annotate (deDeuce) the texts that I received during the game below, and then share some additional thoughts in the postscript.

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I fire off a few volleys before Deuce has the opportunity to respond, but the tone is set...

I inform him that the two TV's I am watching are on a 3-second delay, and that this concerns me greatly:

6:59 PM: I'm the Real Bill Patrick

Pro Hockey or Pro Basketball player?

7:06 PM: Hockey (for racist reasons)

7:08 PM: (And for sexist reasons)

Deuce's natural habitat happens to be the arctic due to his physical composition as well as due to the identity of his power animal:

7:11 PM: I'd refuse skates

7:13 PM: [Big Baby] shoots like a fat Marion

7:15 PM: That's weak as shit

(Apparently the refs dared to call a foul on the greatest point guard in NBA history... or something)

Game could be getting out of hand

7:25 PM: Yeah. Especially since we're doing our nonchalant bullshit

Apparently Deuce plays for the Bulls already, rendering my initial query to the strictly "academic" realm.

Still the first quarter, and the C's are running the Bulls... at the moment.

7:25 PM: Jesus. Doubling [us] up on shot attempts

7:27 PM: Rondo needs to push it every possession

Don't tell my point guard what to do...

7:31 PM: Rebound MOTHER FUCKERS!

Bulls were out-rebounded in the game 50-36

I mention something about this game being a slopfest...

7:34 PM: Speaking of undisciplined; Gordon on the break defines it 7:34 PM: Well, this is Foreboding

Celts 34, Bulls 25

Pace is furious, and Celts are running them

7:35 PM: Rondo should play soccer...

(No, he didn't get hurt yet)

7:38 PM: (Tears...)

7:39 PM: The lost art of the... right-handed dribble

Silence...

7:52 PM: Bulls are wicked predictable sometimes.

I think he means, ALL the time

7:53 PM: Get. Tyrus. Off. The. Court. NOW.

Del Negro listens...

8:05 PM: [Rondo's] fine.

He is... Celts 48, Bulls 42

8:14 PM: Eddie House is chucking it all over.

Just like in his glory days back in AZ.

Celts are struggling since half of their team is hurt... I'm getting annoyed and start making excuses...

8:27 PM: ... Playing against your second team

Where the fuck is Pierce?

8:44 PM: He's about to become a serious problem for us

Noah and Perk mix it up... sort of.

8:49 PM: Everything about that call was wrong. Noah didn't say a word. Or commit a foul.

8:51 PM: [Text of the Night] Getting Blow-Javied

8:56 PM: Ray Ray is about to win this game for you.

And all of you, too...

Chicago needs to grow up a bit... Celts 80, Bulls 78

9:02 PM: Agreed

9:07 PM: Big Baby is killing me

Usually he's killing me, so I take this as good news.

9:13 PM: I think I hate Perkins.

Silence... Intensity is too much for texting...

Desperation sets in.

9:35 PM: Not over the back?!

Celts 100, Bulls 101

Ball game.

9:53 PM: That's annoying

Go enjoy the rest of your 420, Deuce... They fought the good fight
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, just some questions that remain...

Does Rondo actually work for the Celtics? It seems that his style of play is incompatible, specifically with their current roster minus KG. Rondo likes to run the floor, and Pierce clearly does not, so I am wondering; considering the pace at which the game operated for the first 18 minutes or so, is this the reason why Paul was so... absent? Even with the win, is such a relationship sustainable?

Has Doc Rivers ever watched the Bulls play basketball? The Bulls are a putrid team defensively, but can be semi-explosive on the offensive side. What do you do in that instance? Take Steve Nash for example. Can't play defense, but can kill you on offense. The teams that have effectively neutralized the Suns over the years, WORK Nash on the other side of the court. This takes away his edge when on offense. Doc should be pounding Gordon and Poohdini when they are on defense. Create mismatches, post up, wear them out. This is what coaches do. React, Doc!

Where should I make Deuce fly after the Celts take it in 7?

Follow up, after this series goes 7 and the Celts are worn out, do the Bulls still get credit for ending their season?

Go Bruins!

Snubbed Once Again

So for the first year in-a-row, the eternally spiteful and snobbish Pulitzer Board of Bozo's have audaciously, foolishly, and no doubt, soon to be repeatedly refused to honor FSD with the prize(s) that it so rightfully deserves! FSD has clearly carried the torch of responsible and significant journalism for months (months!) up until this point, and we demand recognition for our toils.

For example, was our muckraking piece on fraud in the mainstream media, not to up to Pulitzer's Investigative Reporting standards?

Or, has our educational series on professional hockey not lived up to the lofty Public Service expectations of the Board?

And I just refuse to believe that our attention-grabbing Braking News segments have not lived up to the... Breaking News (Wait, is that how it's spelled?) Reporting criteria laid out by the commission.

I wonder why it is even referred to as a competition if the winners are pre-ordained according to the Board's own elitist standards. I mean, what does the New York Times have that I don't have aside from an army of editors fact-checking and proofreading away? If you said, "a sense of humor", well then we've just reached the tip of the iceberg.

Do not think you have heard the last from me Monsieur Pulitzer. I will be sitting at your front door, knocking when you're getting ready to go to sleep, and snoozing on your front steps when you are heading off to work in the morning. The masses will be heard! There are dozens of us!

DOZENS!

Re: Blogsturbation Monday

The Baby Lee speaks the truth. There's a time for objectivity and integrity, and then there's a time to root with every aching muscle of your being for the Bulls to absolutely embarrass the vaunted Celtics three more times over the next week or so.

I'll be upfront with you folks, I did not get to watch Game 1 due to unforseen water hazards. But imagine my surprise to learn that afternoon that not only did the Bulls not get run out of the Garden, but young Derrick Rose gave the Celtics a thorough trouncing. Now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Here are some Game 1 anomalies that are certain to not continue:

- Jesus Shuttlesworth shooting lights-on (as in, the opposite of lights-out) all game. Apparently he didn't get David Stern's memo that anyone guarded by Ben Gordon in the playoffs is required to have a career game. He oughta get on the phone with Chauncey Billups and learn that he can post up Gordon with his eyes closed.

- Tyrus Thomas' love of the midrange jumper actually reciprocating love back to him. This guy should have exactly two responsibilities on a playoff caliber team: 1) pull down double-digit rebounds 2) alter shots around the rim and discourage the likes of Ray-John from driving the lane. Shooting crucial 18 foot jumpers IS NOT your game, Ty. Stick to the Dennis Rodman formula and we'll be fine.

What isn't an anomaly? Derrick Rose announcing to the galaxy that he's already a Top 5 (top 3?) NBA point guard. Rondo's good, yes he is. But he'll never be the best player on his team. Especially with Rose's cock up his ass.

Lastly, I provide you with a precise transcript of a text message sent by Sir Deuce-A-Lot here to the patriarch of this here blog about a week ago, the night the NBA regular season ended and the playoff match-ups were set:

"Bulls in 6. Motherfucker."

Blogsturbation Monday

It's So Fucking On Right About Now





















While it may be no surprise to those of you who follow us closely, and as much as we here at FSD would love to reside within the "Liberated Fandom" framework as prescribed by our (eventual) friends over at Free Darko... We have our rooting interests. And it just so happens that in the first round of these NBA playoffs, these interests have T-Boned one another in the busy intersection of hometown allegiance.

And not to suggest that these interests in the series itself needed any additional augmentation, but we went ahead and made it a little more interesting anyway: Should the Baby Bulls bring down the (ahem) shorthanded Celtics, then yours truly will purchase a plane ticket to a wanton cesspool of Deuce's choosing. However, should the Mighty C's prove the victor, then Deucebag will need to purchase a ticket of his own, to the destination of my choosing, where I will inundate him with the high-cultural education that he so desperately lacks.

Seeing as neither of these teams feels the need to apply any interior defensive pressure to their game plans, it seems that the two pictured above (Game 1 combined: 65 points on 60% shooting, 18 assists, and 13 rebounds) will play the pivotal roles in this Tale of Two Superior Cities.

And I would just like to encourage Tyrus Thomas to keep shooting as I'm sure he will keep up that torrid 66% from the field. Oh, and just a word to the wise, dickmonkey: the only time you run down the court with your shooting hand pointed toward the heavens is if you make a dagger-worthy 3-pointer, or a game-winning bucket. But I guess your inconsequential 18-footer was worthy of the honor, as well.

Game 2 tonight in Boston... Feel free to hit a shot Ray Ray.

Bullshit!

So, last night I am sitting there waiting for the Blackhawks and Flames to take the ice for Overtime. Suddenly Bill Patrick appears on the screen and says, well... just have a look at the tape:



"Build a model airplane," says the fairy. Well, I'm not buying it.

Now, you've obviously heard of a 5 second delay (ahem), but I'm calling Versus out for clearly using a 30 second delay. Why on earth would Bill Patrick point out Martin Havlat like that? Is the mother fucker divinely inspired? Is he an oracle sent to us direct from the Isle of Lesbos?

Here's what happened. Versus screwed up, let the commercials go for too long, came back, and had to sort it out. Bill Patrick already knew what had happened, and decided to sell us on some soothsaying. For shame. As soon as the puck hit the ice, one could just feel the impending... And then it happened, before you could even put a name to the feeling.

Own up to it, Bill Patrick! Own up to the buuullshit!

BRAKING NEWS?

What the shit is going on around here today?



















I get off topic for one hot second, and the sports world churns out two gems. Madden retires, and Paulus start thinking he's Deion Sanders. Now, it is difficult to swallow that Madden is officially retiring. However, I contend that he actually retired about 9 years ago when he stopped making any sense in the booth. Sort of an Office Space situation with Milton... Looks like someone finally fixed the got dang glitch.

And Paulus is apparently transferring to go play football at a different D1 school? Apparently "Tricky Dick" Rodriguez has already offered him a scholarship. So, Coach Rodriguez since you are clearly going to be terrible this year, so you're taking the "Jackie Moon" approach and simply trying to get asses in the seats up in the Big House? Jeez, times really are hard in Michigan these days.

And what the frig, the powerhouse that is Duke football can't find a spot for Paulus on the roster? Shit don't make sense to me. But apparently the 'Cuse is interested in the old floor-slapper as well. I never realized the Carrier Dome was such a draw other than for people who are simply seeking warmth from those beautiful northern New York winters.

Oh, and Go Bruins.

Rock CriDick - The Hazards of Love by The Decemberists

Concept albums are a difficult chore. Specifically when they become a chore. The artist works so hard to fit the pieces of the puzzle together that the vision is so often squandered beneath a pile of frustration and a heap of overwrought expectations. Sometimes the subject matter is so obscure that the listener is completely unable to even grasp the common theme at play. Perhaps it is cohesive, perhaps it is a masterpiece... But the consumer is left wondering, "just what the fuck is it?"


This is what makes The Hazards of Love so appealing. Colin Meloy and company are not trying to reinvent the wheel, they are simply telling a story. And no doubt thanks in part to Meloy's background in literature, they are pretty good at it. What the Decemberists' did was to keep everything simple. None of the songs, standing on their own, are overly complex, and the album itself follows similar patterns and themes, even to the point of simply using the same song structure on multiple occasions throughout the album. Melodies are rehashed, themes recur, and songs repeated. Like any story, told in any medium... And it's done so easily

Aesthetically, the piece is moody. Some of the songs are angry, some peaceful, some are longing and regretful, and some are downright evil. But even while working with such an array of emotion, the collective work flows seamlessly, transitioning from different perspectives and their correlative passions, effectively and without the slightest hindrance, or even notice. Perhaps this is a result of flawless production, clear vision, or the poetic form in which these songs were crafted and are delivered. Or perhaps it is because the album never stops. After the initial silence of the first track, the music never stops. And no matter who is employed to sing the story, be it Meloy or one of the other two vocalists, the shifts are never cumbersome or alarming.

Sure, Meloy can not but help but indulge, whether it is by referencing obscure synonyms for barren wastelands or his reliance on words such as "thistle". And while such tendencies will surely send the critics howling into the night, it is exactly this willingness to be ridiculous that allows the project to be successful, by allowing the listener to immerse themselves in the world unfolding before them over the course of the album. He sells the concept, and this is why he succeeds in his goal, whether one fancies the final product or not.

And this is what is so amusing, the Decemberists have been targeted for years because of their tendency toward pretension. But does the simple fact that they have released a concept album, position them in this category once again? The songs on this album are laid out simply and the music remains well within the folk and rock genres with definite allusions to the progressive era. If the songwriter having a formidable grasp of the English language is sufficient qualification for considering him vain, then so be it. But check your criteria, you may fall into the same category yourself by simply employing the term.

One final note, and even some homework: if you put on the track titled Hazards of Love 3, and then close your eyes, you can actually see Colin Meloy, in the flesh, with middle-finger extended while others remain clenched, directed squarely at every AV Club commenter and outdated rock critic there is. Gotta love a brazen display, especially when delivered with a wink.

Why Hockey is Better than Your Favorite Sport

Well, Good Lord, did you even have to ask?

The Stanley Cup Playoffs


Imagine the physical force of a football game, combined with the skill-level of a basketball game, paired with the "every run is crucial" aspect of a playoff baseball game, stretch it over a 7-game series and then you might be scratching the surface of what makes the NHL playoffs so spectacular.

Sure basketball has its rivalries, baseball has its desperation, and football has the bloodlust of physical brutality, but hockey combines them all. Imagine if the NFL resorted to a multi-game series format in the playoffs. Imagine how much the two teams would hate one another by the end of the series, even if it were only best of 3. But this is not simply about the hatred of one's opponent, it is also about the familiarity that grows between the competitors with each passing game. It's about how the teams respond to their shortcomings and the results that follow.

One can never really get an idea of just how fast the game of hockey moves unless you actually attend a game in person, but the playoffs give you a better idea, because somehow, things get faster in the playoffs. But, what's more important, is how much more quickly things boil over in the playoffs.

Take a look at some of these matchups:

Philly - Pittsburgh
Montreal - Boston
Anaheim - San Jose
New York - DC

Now, the proximity of these teams alone makes these games compelling, but also since these teams have seen each other so often already, it makes them even moreso. While in the real world familiarity may breed apathy, in the NHL it breeds disdain. Did anyone catch that most recent game between the Bruins and the Canadiens, something tells me that we should get used that trajectory... especially come game 4, especially if/when the Bru Cru embarass Les Habs. What's more, is that these series can go either way, and the chaos that results from the unpredictability only adds to the allure.

Basketball has its mock intensity, baseball its has slow-building tension, football has its anticipation. Hockey has real intensity, quick-rising tension, and anticipation rewarded. So buckle up and grab a few extra pills for your hypertension, because this shit is about to get real... and fast.

HOCKEY BITCH!

Conscientious Rebuttals

By the way, for all that cared to know, Benny DC, self-proclaimed "Tardburger Sandwich" when it comes to all-things sporting won his NCAA tourney pool with the Tar Heel victory on Monday night... Let's all give him a congratulatory salute, shall we!


What a diiiiiiick.

Better Know a Hockey Team

Over the next few weeks, we hope to string together a few team profiles for this year's Stanley Cup "contenders", A) because what else are we supposed to do with our time and B) you need to know this information so that when the Stanley Cup playoffs do start you can enjoy them even more. Next up!

The Dead Wings

Meet the New York Yankees of NHL Hockey! You heard it. Every year they are in it. Even if they are not in first place, it just doesn't matter. They are always somewhere near the top of the division, lying in the weeds. And the crazy thing is, even if they are not in first place, they are always the favorite to win the Stanley Cup. Why? Well perhaps it is there seemingly endless supply of talent, young and old.

Everyone wants to play for the Wings. Unlike the Yankees, the Wings can not just go out and buy players due to the salary cap restrictions. Instead, players just go their willingly and accept whatever position they are assigned. This is what makes a perennially successful team, well, perennially successful.

Why they are Contenders: Two things; talent and experience. These guys have been around long enough to know that the regular season of the NHL doesn't mean everything. Sure they want to win as many games as possible, but they have patience and eye on the bigger picture (remember how both Lidstrom and Datsyuk sat out during the all-star game?). You may get the better of them during your one game against them during the regular season (Bruins), but a seven-game series is a whole new ball game.

Oh, and also they score more goals and have a better power play than your team does... For what it's worth.

Why Wings fans should be nervous: Because your penalty kill is busted. 78% just is not going to cut it. The good news is that because the Wings are a bunch of pussies, they never drop the gloves and rarely get penalties. But when they do, they often get scored upon. And why are they so bad against Dallas and Colorado? Is it because they're so bad? Is that how you beat the Red Wings?

Oh, and their goalies stink. Nice GAA, Osgood.

Players to watch:

The Three-Headed Monster (Lidstrom, Rafalski, and Kronwall) - Between the three of them they have 135 assists. That's a lot. Chances are that this is the reason why their Power Play is successful; they set up the box, rotate as necessary, and these dudes just feed their snipers all day long. Defensemen that think "pass" first are the goal in the NHL are a key to success in the NHL, and Detroit has become an institution in that regard.

Johan Franzen - The man is a born scorer. He is a picky shooter, meaning he chooses his shots wisely. But when he does decide to shoot, it's usually bad news for opposing teams. He has missed 10 games this year, but still has 33 goals on a team that has no want for additional goal scoring. And like the rest of the team, he's also an unselfish playmaker as well.

Pavel Datsyuk - This guy may be the most underrated superstar in the game. He has 97 points this season and leads an all- star cast in assists with 65. He hasn't been scoring as many goals lately, but I'm chalking this up to some more Detroit-style rope-a-dope. "Build a model airplane", says the fairy. Well, I'm not buying it.

Clips of the season:

My favorite Mercenary



He's so Crafty

Blogsturbation Monday

So while this may fall under the category of "Old News", I consider it to still be burning bright with the hot embers of controversy and intrigue. It was simply too hot to handle last week, and needed to cool a bit over the weekend. Now, we can pick it up and bat it around in order to better figure out what it all means. Let's discuss the Pros and Cons of...

Sourpuss in Chicagoland

Pro:

Denver was able to rid themselves of a potential clubhouse cancer. Sure, maybe McDaniels could have handled this a bit better. First off, by not letting his starting quarterback know that he was being shopped like a prized Filipino adolescent on the open market. But if Cutler was going to handle the situation like the true teenage girl that he is, well then beat it. Pioli taught him well enough to make the best out of a bad situation. Now they can rebuild that awful defense with a bunch of early draft picks over the next 2 years.

Con:

Denver is currently without an elite quarterback. While Cutler is as douchey as they come, he is certainly a much better quarterback than either Kyle Orton or Chris Simms. Kyle Orton is a "system quarterback" from what I keep hearing. Well, what fucking system will he be working with in Denver? Marshall, Royal, go run around and get open, and if it breaks down go deep, Cutler will hit you with his missile arm. That ain't gon be hapnin with Orton at the helm.

Pro:

Chicago picks up the quarterback they never had... And I mean like, fucking EVER. It's a been a sad state of affairs behind the center for the last two decades in Chitown, and now this problem has been addressed. Whether or not they have the ancillary offensive pieces in place to augment this addition remains to be seen. For as we all know, if Hester ain't returning punts for touchdowns, then Chicago ain't scoring. Although this should open up some holes for Forte even with that sorry offensive line.

Con:

When is the next time Chicago gets a draft pick? I mean, their defense is not what it used to be and the needs are piling up. Chicago had the third worst passing defense in the league last year. It was their defense that kept them in games while their offense had trouble getting passed mid-field. Now, it looks like Chicago needs to score real offensive points in order to stay in the game. Is Cutler all they need to accomplish this?

Pro:

Cougars in Chicago can once again be on the prowl. No longer must they be forced to bear witness to the insufferable image of Ye Ol Neckbearded One. Instead, they now have a young buck, who acts even younger then he actually is, which should get the cradle-robbers all sweaty in the grundy. I know Mrs. Deuce is particularly inspired by this development as facial hair has always caused uncomfortable chafing in her special darkness.

Con:

All Chicagoland females with a muff-beard fetish are seriously out of luck... Maybe they can start a petition that will get Cutler to grow some muff-around-the-mouth. But since puberty clearly hasn't set in yet for sourpuss, this may not be feasible.

Pro:

Denver liquor retailers are about to experience a serious boom in sales. Orton might not be one for passing prominence, but when it comes to passing out, the man is a future hall of famer. So no longer shall the reduced alcohol levels in the grocery store beer be a blockade to black out town. It's all Jack from here on out. Get your orders in now.

Con:

Chicago liquor sales will be dropping dramatically, and at a critical juncture during this economic spiral of smegma. Chicago package stores are being encouraged to stock up on baby formula as their new quarterback has developed a strong affection for it, especially since his mother finally waned him just prior to his freshman year of college.

PRO:

Seeing Bears fans talk themselves into this one... Is it football season yet???

Final Sickness: Four Real

So, welcome back once again, and for one last time to our sick, sick world. Sweet 16 wasn't really all that sweet, but at this point it's the anticipation that matters most. Nova-Pitt made the Elite 8 all worth it. It didn't even matter what happened on Sunday after that epicness. Even Oklahoma's disastrous performance couldn't put a damper on things. To call their defense loose, would be like calling Alyssa Milano moderately promiscuous. But what I really want to know is, when the shit did I get so excited about Spartan basketball? Oh yeah, when they played lockdown defense and refused to miss a shot in the last 12 minutes of their most recent game. So let's get this shit on the road, because Baylor-Penn State just ain't cutting it right now!



The Suton of Swing

vs.

The Connvicts


AND


Scottie Ice

vs.

The Green Lantern

---

I don't really have much to say about these games other than GO NOVA! I'm just going to let these games speak for themselves as they really are going to make or break this tourney. And this isn't just some last ditch effort to bring everyone else down to my own sunken, wretched level. Although there is plenty of that involved, as I have been oft described as a "vengeful mother fucker." But in all honesty, a Spartan-Wildcat final on Monday would get me about as moist as a cougar at a college town cocktail bar, and me likey. A Tar Heels-Huskies final, well, let's just say I'm just not sure I want to live in a world where such a match up is allowed to occur.

The bridge to the baseball season is almost finished. Enjoy the thrill while it's here because it's the last exciting we get to witness until, well, the Stanley Cup playoffs! Happy weekend y'all

MLB Divisional Previews

The Easy East


The best division in baseball? Maybe. One always has to be careful when applying measures of objectivity to an absolutely subjective notion. But, that's never really stopped us before, and really, why should it for the duration of our little walk down the avenue of life?

So yes, best division in baseball. Why? Objective statistics:

The records from the AL East last year:

G Rays 97-65 Bo Sox 95-67 Skanks 89-73 Habs 86-76 Bmore 68-93

Aside from that little blemish in Maryland (and when is that ever not the case?) each of the top 4 stack up very well against the rest of the League.

For example, were the Blue Jays in the AL Central they would have finished 2.5 games behind the White Sox for the division. Just 1.5 games behind the Twins. The Yankees? Well, they would have won the division (Aaaand they won the season series against the Chi Sox 5-2). And let's not even discuss that embarrassment out West (well, looks like we already did).

Moral of the story is that while these 5 teams are not busy beating up on one another, they are off hammering the rest of baseball. So, East Coast bias be fucked, this is real deal metrics, and y'all just been served.

To the predictions!

(It's more pleasant to start from the bottom)

5. Oreo's

I prefer not to spend too much time on this waste of organization to be honest. Harsh? Yes. Deserved? Also, yes. This team was awful last year, and what did they do this off-season in response to such a dreadful performance? They sign DL all-star Rich Hill formerly of Cubs fame, Tony Gwynn look-a-like Cesar Izturis, and of course Kevin Millar's replacement, Ty Wigginton. This will earn them approximately 1-2 more wins this year. Fortunately for Baltimore's "frugal" management team, no moving costs will be accrued, since they'll be remaining in the basement for at least one more year.

4. BJ's

Dirty little secret: Blue Jays were my favorite team as a small boy. Fred McGriff, Joe Carter, Gruber, Fernandez, White, Alomar... I loved it. But there's not much to love about this team nowadays. Why? Because the Blue Jays third best hitter is named Overbay. While there is plenty to love about this team's starting pitching and bullpen, even with the loss of Burnett, they just will not have the bats to stay in it. Against the arms in Boston, Tampa, and New York, they will simply not be able to score enough runs, even with the addition of the mighty Scott Rolen. Blue Jays will once again finish above .500, but that won't be enough. Perhaps if the Blue Jays move to Vancouver, and shift over to the AL West, but as of right now, their fortunes will continue to remain limited.

3. G Rays

If you kept up on the Rays over the last few years, then their success in 2008 only should have come a small surprise. The Rays had been building a small, yet formidable army over the last 5 years, centering around young, athletic bats and young, solid arms with high-potential. With the addition of Longoria to the lineup, they begun to hit for power. With the addition of Garza, they brought attitude to the rotation. And even without the services of their ace early in the season, the Rays were able to remain competitive and at the top of the division.

So what changes this year? Nothing more than the law of the World Series burn out. Call them the 2008 Rockies. Even though the G Rays are way better than the 2008 Rockies, they still play in the AL East, and due to the fact that both the Yankees and Red Sox are improved, they simply will not be able to replicate last year's success either due to injury and/or sophomore slumpage. Of course, I said the same thing last year...

2. Skankonia

Goodbye chubby Giambi and injury-riddled Pavano! Hello chubby CC and... injury-riddled... Burnett? Oh, and apparently they picked up some other guy named "Tex". And so the Yankees appear to be scary once again, but for this cat, it just seems like there are more question marks than guarantees. Can CC's arm hold up after pitching over 250 innings in 2008? Will the Yanks aging veteran core remain healthy? When did A Rod do steroids again? Is Hank serious? Will Phil Hughes finally get it together? Can Cano take a pitch for once? Regardless, New York's firepower and seemingly endless supply of resources should be enough to keep them competitive in the divisional and Wild Card races... But let's hope not.

1. Sux Nation

The story of the Sox begins in the rotation. Indeed, they may be the first team in Major League history to utilize a 7-man rotation. Josh Beckett, Jon Lester, Daisuke-san, Tim Wakefield, Brad Penny, and John Smoltz. Oh, that's only 6 you say? Okay, well how about Clay Buchholz or Justin Masterson? It's a formidable staff even if/when a few things go wrong. And then there is the bullpen. Delcarmen and Okajima are pen fixtures in Boston. Plus, they've added an extra closer by bringing on Saito to lighten any undue burdens for that wicked annoying closer they have. It's rare to consider a team's pitching staff as a source of firepower, but in this case, it could be warranted.

However, the big question for the Sox this year will still be, can the offense be sustained without the services of Manny? Ortiz was hurt last year, or is unable to perform without Manny's protection. While Youkilis and Pedroia were out of control last year, will they drive in the necessary runs if their pitchers don't quite perform as well as (this asshole) predicts? And who the shit is Jason Bay? Nevertheless, if Jacoby remembers how to hit and Lowell can stay at least a little healthy, with their pitching prowess, the Sox should have the bats to get past most opponents, most of the time, and even if only by a little bit.