Got Any Gum?

Bubble gum, that is.

Over the next few weeks as we march toward... March... Madness (damn it) we will be reviewing and evaluating some potential suitors for miss Cinderella's big ol' ball.  Which teams will make it, which teams will not, which teams give Doug Gottlieb the biggest boner, it's all here, folks!  And away we go:

1. Wake Forest (18-8)

The Deacons could just as easily be interchanged with the Tigers or the Seminoles, but since they have the worst ACC record (and how sad is that?), we're putting them on the bubble.  With big victories over Duke, Gonzaga, and Elon (ELON!), Wake has certainly made a case that they can compete against average to above-average white college basketball programs.  However, having lost 3 straight games to black college basketball programs, the Deeks have really put themselves in a bind.  And with only two games remaining, both against conference foes that are also in serious need of victories, Wake could very well drop 5 straight to close out the season.

Verdict: Out.  They're losing at least two more games (one to either Clemson or Florida St. this week, and then once in the ACC tournament), and that is going to put them into double digit loss territory in a pretty soft conference.  But who expected them to be this competitive this season?  So.. That's something.

2. Mississippi State (21-8)

They're kind of like staring into a diarrhea-ridden toilet bowl.  It's not all pure liquid, in fact, you can even see a few lumps in there.  The Bulldogs are on of those lumps; juuuuust large enough to be discernible, but still basically nothing more than a piece of shit.  Hey hey!  They did take Kentucky to OT! Where they were promptly dispatched in the next five minutes. They also lost to Rider, Richmond, Alabama and Western Kentucky.

Verdict: In.  There's no way that the committee only allows three SEC teams into the tourney.  Which means both Mississippi State and Florida are going to make it in... Unfortunately.

3. San Diego State (20-8)

The Aztecs seem to be earning an invitation based on their losses more than their wins.  Sure, they beat New Mexico, which is a pretty big deal.  But they really haven't beaten anyone else.  But it is their "good" losses to teams like New Mexico, St. Mary's, Arizona St, and BYU that have demonstrated the Aztecs "scrapability" which just drives the committee into full arousal mode... That is, if those crusties were still wood-capable.  San Diego St. also benefits from a solid conference.  With two ranked teams at the top of the Mountain West, there is an appearance of being competitive. Whether they are or not, well, they have 8 losses in a mid-major.

Verdict: Out.  San Diego St. probably loses out to UNLV in the Mountain West sweepstakes, since the Rebels have a more impressive out-of-conference schedule.  Also, the fact that the majors are going to have unacceptably bad teams accepted into the tourney really hurts their chances.

4. Harvard (20-6)

Sure, they're a bunch of spoiled geeks.  But these cats can ball with the best of them.  If by "the best of them" you mean, other, spoiled geeks.  But the Crimson did go outside of the cozy confines of the Ivy Tower (see what I did there?), to take on some other East Coast powerhouses such as Georgetown and UConn.  And they actually played UConn tough, but then again, who hasn't (aside from Texas)?  But, they did beat Boston College (go ACC!).

Verdict: Out.  Unless they can finally beat Cornell in the Ivy tourney.  Then they have to be in.  Which will probably be the first time any of these nerds has ever been invited to a party, am I right?

Weekly Big East Gut Check!

5. Georgetown? (19-9)

Why is this team ranked 20th again?  They're a loss to Cincinnati away from basically being UConn, and well, as of Saturday this very well could be the case.  Quick, who is the 6th place team in the Big East?

No, not Georgetown, silly.

They're in 7th.

You heard me.

Sure, they have big wins against Duke, Nova, and Syracuse, and that is all they really need.  But how abouts some losses to Old Dominion, Rutgers, and USF?  They should be stricken from the tournament simply due to the colossal mindfuck that they are going to be come bracket-filling time...

Verdict:  In.  Of course they are.  Just something to think about, when you're not pondering how annoying the Big East has been this year.