I always feel like I should have been born in the South. My favorite book growing up was Huck Finn, my favorite college football team has always been Alabama (for some reason), and my favorite city in the States, and quite possibly the world, is New Orleans. I love fried foods, black women (no offense to black men), quiet, little meadows strewn with weeping willows waving lazily across a tranquil pond. And all that shit is EVERYWHERE in the South, so it would be pretty awesome to setup shop down there one day.
However, it appears that my dream to one day marry a beautiful African American woman would be seriously jeopardized if I ever did move south based on recent trends, and that ain't cool, so maybe I'll just have to lure some lucky, beautiful, black lady northward. We'll see.
But one thing is for certain, no "non-racist" J of the P is going to keep me from my one true love no matter where in this great country I decid to take up residence. For my favorite drug in the whole wide world has yet to be regulated by the FDA and that's just fine by me. Yes'm, so long as Bluegrass is able to touch my soul in that manner in which only she knows how, then things'll be just fine.
And so while I'm doing that, allow these fine poets to touch your souls should you be fortunate enough to have the time and care at your disposal this fine weekend:
If I lived in the South...
- I'd be an SEC fan, and the BIG 10 would still suck... Just moreso (EDSBS)
- Ron Darling would not only be ruining my post-season experience, but also my tax benefits (Awful Announcing)
- I would still wanna be like these guys (Free Darko)
- The Phoenix Coyotes would still be dead to me, but I'd sure as shit find the closest frozen pond to drop triples axels upon... I mean, slap shots... SLAP SHOOOOOTS!!!! (Hockey World Blog)
More banjo, less pants though. Do it to it, y'all.
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