I mean, the sports world has been abuzz with playoff baseball, meat-of-the-season NFL football, racially-charged hockey, our first BCS standings and both sexual and journalistic indiscretions. But The Delay? No, the Delay has been mired in weak, week-long attempt to speak (write?) without cursing, swearing, or referencing acts of a sexually pleasing nature in a manner demeaning to b. Lee's mother's various orifices.
No matter. As the gays are often prone to say, "it's not the journey, it's the destination." And so despite my personal posting boycott this week as a retaliation to this "No Swearing" edict from our great and spiteful deity of Jah, we have arrived nonetheless; beaten, bruised, a little confused at the only destination FSD cares about...
The nightcap at the end of a long week of working, lecturing, lawyering, pan-handling and likely crushing beers by the half dozen to forget it all...
The 4th and Goal from the 5 on the 3rd possession of a college overtime game...
The Zippo under lighter fluid-soaked hands in the wee morning hours of a Saturday...
The bottom-of-the-ninth, one-run game shower, when things are nice and quite and calm and you can ejaculate onto your own dreadlocked face without fear of prejudice...
The post-coitus cigarette dangling ever-so-gingerly from the fingertips of an elegant woman-of-the-night as Jables scrapes his dignity off her lower back with a washcloth...
The inevitable, ironic, and glorious Irish Car Bomb that will one day wipe Bono's smug mouth from the annals of existence...
THE SHEET®. Week 7.
Questions abound!
- Will Deucer or B.LEEding Crotch finally win a week?
- Will Jables' winnings allow him to eat something he didn't find in the dumpster behind the Church's Chicken he works at?
- Will Le Ginge ever admit that his Vikings should REALLY be 4-2?
- Are the Bills the worst team in the NFL?
- Will the Tampa Bay Lightning be overcome with a CancerAIDS pandemic? And will Magic Johnson write a book about it?
Ponder those and various others queries as many of you wallow in the late autumn snow, sleet, wind and general weather-related malaise caused by your residency in the Northeast, Midwest, Pacific Northwest, or Ottawasota.
While the rest of us pop a Pumpkin Ale, roast a bone, and enjoy glorious weekends of football, 80 degree days, and file-sharing images of Mrs. Lee's private rectal examination. For the next 6 months, proper.
Oh, I've almost forgotten...
FUCK.
That felt REAL good.
You see, Deuce had every intention of going over his .5 blog posts per week average, but it was the whole "No Cursing" thing that deterred him...
ReplyDeleteRight, and next week the excuse will be that your boyfriend had you bound and gagged the entire week. Only there will be more truth to that claim than the previous one.
The best part will be when you act as if you didn't ask him to do it.
He does really appreciate you letting us borrow your gimp mask.
ReplyDeletelighter fluid......classic!
ReplyDelete