Fan Edition!
Vikings: Hey! We're finally good, so I guess it's okay to wear our Frank Tarkenton jerseys out once again! I mean we're all really happy since this is the closest we've been to a Super Bowl in 8 years... And it's only week 6! How pathetic is that...
Steelers: No matter where the game is being played we're there! You know why? Because Pittsburgh is such an unberable place to be, that we got the FUCK outta there as soon as we could!
or,
What? You didn't bring your Terrible Towel? But, we're at the bar! We NEED the Terrible Towel... AT THE BAR!
Packers: What's that? Oh, sorry. The Vikings were playing and we were a little distracted... Because we suck.
Patriots: Feel like going to the game tonight? Yeah, I got two tickets and it's snowing so... Yeah, I just don't feel like going. Besides, Dancing with the Stars is on.
Jaguars: crickets.
Ravens: We've honestly never encountered a Ravens fan... So we're not really sure how to play this one.
Rams: Just wait until next year! Pujols will be signed to long-term contract, Holliday will be gone...
Niners: My god, can you even imagine what it would have been like in that locker room to see Coach Singletary's package? Jeziz, I would given the old steam cuisine right then and there.
Lions: Oh man, I hope the Packers D can maintain this shutout... I get 10 bonus point per shutout in my fantasy league.
Cardinals: It's about time we finally got football in Arizona, you know? I mean, Phoenix is a huge city, and it took up until 2008 before the NFL finally recognized the marketing potential... Unbelievable.
Bills: We're going to the Super Bowl!
Raiders: We've always prided ourselves on good QB management, as well as a bend-don't-break defense. ALWAYS.
Panthers: 2-in-a-row y'all. We're like Jimmy on a slick track in early June... WOOOO-WEEEE!!!
Cowboys: I know it's a bye week, but Roy Williams still had ZERO catches and that's unaccetable.
Jets: Yeah, I don't know about this dirty 'Can taking snaps for us anymore
Saints: What? Fuck the lower 9th! We're 5-0!
Bengals: Honestly, I think they played better when no one went to the games. Less pressure, I think. Stay home everyone!
Chiefs: Justice has been served for Washington's crime against our civilization... Scalp, anyone?
Seahawks: Ohmygodcanyoubelievehowfuckingbadwearesometimesit'stotal
lyfuckinginsanceImeanHasselbeckareyougoodorwhat?Andwherethefuckhas
Houshbeen?Imeanwhatthefuckdude,webringyouhearpexpectingtoregain
controlofourshittyhasdivisionandyoucanonlyhaulin4passesagame?fuck,
youknow?
Texans: First, the Bengals... Then, THE WORLD! Oh, hello, friendly cockroach.
Giants: Holy shit. We lost. Fuck it. GO BOMBERS!
Redskins: Obama has failed our football team.
Browns: Basketball season yet?
Falcons: For a white dude... This honkey ain't so bad... Again, for a white dude.
Dolphins: Come on, shake your body, do that conga.
I know you can't control yourself any longer
Feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger
Don't fight it 'til you tried it, do that conga BEAT.
Titans: Well, I've always actually been more of a Falcons fan anyway, you know. So, as far as I'm concerned they're still the Oilers.
Bucs: Fuckers can stay in London for all we care.
Eagles: Tell you brought the D batteries. Are you fucking kidding me?!? What the fuck am I going to throw at these assholes once they back into town?!?
Colts: It sure is nice to be white, isn't it, honey?
It sure is, sweetie.
Bears: Next Brady, my ass.
Chargers: You know, it's really easy to tackle Lady Dainian when she is always wearing that billowy-ass dress.
Broncos: In Orton We Trust.
FUCKIN' SUPER BOWL, BITCH!
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