Who the FUCK gets married in January? Put on a dress sweetheart and let's get those tits frozen off before I can even toss you in the sack to consecrate this temporary union! This week, as well as the following week, signify the most consequential football weekends of the year. Why the most consequential?
First off, the season is rapidly coming to an end. This means that we need to extract as much pleasure and excitement out of football as we can, because soon we won't have any football... Like, at all.
Secondly, this weekend and the next are the final days of wall-to-wall football. Meaning that we have early and late games. AND ON BOTH DAYS FOR FUCK'S SAKE! What's that? I shouldn't complain because I will still get one day out of the two to watch football? Hey sunshine, I'm an American and a male. I want it all and I want it all now. This drive is the very reason why we're at the top of this burning scrapheap called Earth.
Lastly, it is underdog weekend. Which of these teams will have the balls to knock off one of the evil bye-week teams in the Divisional Round? A Jets-Colts re-match? A Pats-Charge grudge match? One more Pack-Vikes showdown? The emergence of the dark horse-riding Cowboys? It's all up in the air!
While I'm stuck in a god damn church pew...
When you're busy NOT sending me text message updates on Saturday, check this old fly shit out:
- Just cause fantasy football is over, doesn't mean failure needs to end! (KSK)
- Guns don't kill people, Free Darko kills people. (The Sporting News)
- Warm up the bus, baseball. It's gonna be cold once football ends. (Babes Love Baseball)
- College football, we bid you good night. (EDSBS)
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