32 Things

As you may or may not have noticed, this blog is strongly biased toward two things in life: football and music. We try to unify the two in print as well as we do in our own minds, but these things do not necessarily translate all that well when traveling between the abstract to the tangible. But this new segment appears to be prepped for success and understanding. It combines our favorite sport with one of our favorite songs and the two get along just fine, even if it is also combined with one of our least favorite things; NFL recap posts. Regardless, it's 32 Things!

Final Edition.

32 Things - moe.

Rams: After allowing 8 sacks on the day, Colt McCoy and Jimmy Clausen are both considering a one year internship in the Arena Football League.

Lions: Free Calvin.

Buccaneers: So it looks like they mave found a quarterback for the first time in franchise history, but how about getting that defense squared away?

Redskins: Now that the season is over, we can continue not to care about this shit organization.

Chiefs: Preliminary 2010 sleeper, right here... If they locate a defense in the offseason.

Seahawks: Happy trails, Hasselbeck.  Maybe your sister-in-law can get you a spot on The View

Raiders: Can you even imagine the beating that these guys took after the game?  2009's most confusing team hands down.

Browns: b. Lee's 2009 Sleeper stayed in bed all season until awaking in December... Thanks, assholes.

Bills: Only 4 wins away from a guaranteed playoff spot.  So close, Donk.

Bears: Not sure how this team went 7-9, but in Chicago's 7 wins, Cutler has a TD-INT ratio of 16-3.  It was 11-23 in their 9 losses.  Go figure.

Dolphins: It's difficult to take this team seriously, but given their utter lack of quality personnel, this team manages to stay in the hunt right down to the wire... Sign of a good coach, we guess.

Jags: Sure, they were the lease penalized team in the NFL, but they also finished the season worse than any other team in the league...

Giants: Well, almost any other team.  That's all we got to say about these clowns.

Panthers: So does this team simply have two awesome running backs, or the best rush blockers in the game?  Could be one wide receiver away from once again returning to the playoffs.

Titans: Vince Young probably isn't the answer.  Good thing Chris Johnson is.

Niners: With San Francisco becoming one of the hardest places to for a visiting team to play, the Niners could very well be on their way to a division crown next year.  But do they draft a quarterback?

Broncos: Considering how well they started the season, it is difficult to give this team any praise, but how good did you think they were going to be before the season started?  Right...

Falcons: Perhaps the second most disappointing team (next to the Giants), the Falcons have work to do on both sides of the ball.  Their defense sucks and Matt Ryan is just too inconsistent at the moment.

Steelers: Hey hey!  Nice 3-game winning streak to end the season!  Not nearly as good as your 5-game losing streak that preceded it, but who's counting?  Well, I guess we are.

Texans: 2009's fashionable sleeper pick came up short, and even if they didn't, a 9-7 sleeper is still a crock of shit.

Jets: Am I right, guys?

Ravens: Two years in the league, two trips to the playoffs for Joe Flacco.  Raise your hand if that inspires any confidence in him...

Cardinals: Doesn't this all seem eerily familiar?

Bengals: Good thing they're playing the Jets, because anyone else on the planet would wax this team on their own turf next week.

Patriots: Any further arguments on the "To rest, or not to rest" debate?

Eagles: Andy Reid?

Cowboys: Wade Phillips?

Packers: Mike McCarthy?

Vikings: Or... Yikes.

Chargers: 11 straight wins and 2 weeks to rest.  Chargers could be the scariest team in the upcoming playoffs.

Oh shit, is Norv Turner still their coach?

Saints: Backing into the playoffs isn't necessarily a bad thing (see 2003 Panthers, 2007 Giants), but in the 2009 Saints case, it probably is.

Colts: If the Colts don't win the Super Bowl, Jim Caldwell might be the biggest scapegoat in NFL history.  And we're all for that around here.