Basketball Jesus... Black?

Most Boston Celtics fans, as well as fans of the NBA, have always assumed that Larry Bird was a white man.  But a recent article from Sports Illustrated.com casts doubt upon this widespread presupposition.

That Hansbrough was drafted by Bird, who was rumored to be white during his playing career, only furthered the stereotype. The widespread assumption was that Bird didn't make a color-blind selection. The truth was that Bird not only recognized the athletic qualities that some others missed, but he also saw someone who brings the same work ethic and self-discipline that he once brought to the Celtics, and Miller once brought to the Pacers.

We are not sure what to think anymore.  Sure, Larry Legend looks pretty pale in the photo above, but it's a black and white photo, so how can we really be sure?  So let us say that Larry Bird is truly not a white man. What does this say for past and future of the white man in the NBA.  With Darko Milicic now fleeing the US, who is the heir to the white throne?  Mike Dunleavy?  Kurt Heinrich?  Brian Scalabrine?

We are in the midst of an identity crisis, folks.  Our world has been turned upside down.  Results are inconclusive with respect to Bird's DNA test taken in order to ascertain the true race of his parents, but already fans in Boston are turning against their former hero.

Sully from Fitzyville had the following to say:

That dirty n-n-n... neigh-buh.  Not only was he not that good at basketball, but he's clearly a sneaky bastid, too.  I mean, to come hehe and pretend to be a paht of ah community, as if he's a white guy uh somethin.  It's just retahded.  I mean, I feel like I'm losing my fucking mind ovuh hehe.  I always liked McHale moohr anyways... No way that goofy bastid is a dahkie.

Whether the fall out continues to spread, or whether Larry decides to step forward and settle the situation personally, we will have to wait and see.  But hey, at least the best coaches in the league are definitely white, am I right?  Phil Jackson, Gregg Popovich, Doc Rivers... We could go on and on.  So rest assured, good, peaceful, white people of the world; we're still in charge!