As you may or may not have noticed, this blog is strongly biased toward two things in life: football and music. We try to unify the two in print as well as we do in our own minds, but these things do not necessarily translate all that well when traveling between the abstract to the tangible. But this new segment appears to be prepped for success and understanding. It combines our favorite sport with one of our favorite songs and the two get along just fine, even if it is also combined with one of our least favorite things; NFL recap posts. Regardless, it's 32 Things!
Week 15 provided some of the most exciting developments of the entire season, certainly in the National Football League. Therefore, we've invited John Gruden to provide us with some insights for all 32 teams prior to taking the booth tonight for the Monday night showdown. Take it away, John...
Saints: Reggie Bush easily has one of the most tender vaginas in the land, certainly in the National Football League.
Browns: Now here's a team, left for dead, that has back-to-back victories, and is playing with a lot of swagger, certainly in the National Football League
Niners: Now Mike Singletary is religious man. He believes that Jesus Christ wants him to beat people on the football field, which makes him one of the most delusional people, certainly in the National Football League
Lions: The Lions have found some heart in recent weeks, putting up a very good fight, a lot like the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz, which as we all know is one of the best movies of all time, certainly in the National Football League
Steelers: Mike Tomlin's balls are bigger than your balls, certainly in the National Football League
Seahawks: Man, this team sucks, certainly in the National Football League
Jets: Coach Rex Ryan prides himself on a good defense, it's just too bad that he's stuck with that dirty mexican at quarterback... CERTAINLY in the National Football League.
Raiders: Who do these guys think they are? These whippernsappers are reapong all kinds of havoc, certainly in the National Football League.
Cowboys: The Cowboys have been terrible in December, certainly in the National Football League, but beating the Saints should provide a big boost of confidence for them, certainly in the National Football League.
Titans: Chris Johnson might be the fastest man alive, certainly in the National Football League.
Packers: Aaron Rodgers is one of the best young quarterbacks, certainly in the National Football League. His coach is TERRIBLE, however.
Bills: Maybe they should fire another coach, because sometimes that is the answer, certainly in the National Football League.
Cardinals: This team has got a lot of growing up to do, certainly in the National Football League.
Chargers: Let's just say that these guys are packing all of the energy right now, certainly in the National Football League.
Eagles: Boy, DAH-novan McNabb and DeSeAHN Jackson have developed quite the chemistry over the last year... Certainly in the National Football League.
Colts: Oh man, I don't think there is a team in this league that can stop them right now, certainly NOT in the National Football League.
Broncos: Rookie Head Coach Josh McDaniels has got his work cut out for him over the next two weeks, certainly in the National Football League.
Vikings: Brad Childress is easily the funniest coach to look at, certainly in the National Football League.
Jaguars: You gotta be able to close out games in December, certainly in the National Football League.
Falcons: Coach Mike Smith has instilled a never quit attitude in his players, no matter how hard Mike Mularkey tries to screw it all up, certainly in the National Football League.
Patriots: Coach Belichick is a master of interchaneable parts and Tom Brady is easily the best looking man in the world, certainly in the National Football League.
Rams: How about the guts that this team displayed? Not even the flu will hold this team back from a losing effort, certainly in the National Football League.
Bengals: What a heartbreaker for an already heart broken team. And if I were on this team, them I would have called that monkey-ass kicker on the Chargers, certainly if I were a player in the National Football League.
Dolphins: They're a resilient bunch, but they just do not have the talent to compete in the playoffs, certainly in the National Football League.
Bears: Jay Cutler is putting on the worst performance that this league has ever seen, certainly in the National Football League.
Texans: Andre Johnson goes deep, certainly in the National Football League
Buccaneers: Josh Freeman is making a serious push for Offensive Rookie of the Year, certainly in the National Football League.
Chiefs: The Kansas City Chiefs have a way of making even the worst teams in the league look good, certainly in the National Football League.
Panthers: How about these guys, huh? Pulling off the biggest upset of the week, certainly in the National Football League.
Ravens: This team has certainly got the stuff to be a sleeper coming out of the AFC, certainly in the National Football League.
Redskins: Jason Campbell only has 3 more auditions left for the 2010 season, certainly in the National Football League.
Giants: These miserable bastards only have 3 more opportunities to impress us with their underachievements, certainly in the National Football League.
--Hey, thanks, coach!
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