32 Things

As you may or may not have noticed, this blog is strongly biased toward two things in life: football and music.  We try to unify the two in print as well as we do in our own minds, but these things do not necessarily translate all that well when traveling between the abstract to the tangible.  But this new segment appears to be prepped for success and understanding.  It combines our favorite sport with one of our favorite songs and the two get along just fine, even if it is also combined with one of our least favorite things; NFL recap posts.  Regardless, it's 32 Things!

32 Things - moe.

Why? Because why?

Giants: Because when the bitter cold turns Coughlin's face even more red, the Giants play even harder.

Colts:  Because dude... They're still only the Titans

Niners: Because Frank Gore obviously didn't realize that the fantasy playoffs are right around the corner.

Patriots: Because Brady-Welker was so 2007.

Redskins: Because you really didn't think Jason Campbell was going to let that happen did you?

Chargers: Because Vincent Jackon has apparently forgotten how to play football.

Panthers: Because we're less inept than the Bucs!

Steelers: Because you can't stop Bruce Gradkowski, you can only hope to contain him.

Bears: Because we only know how to lose, not win, convincingly

Jets: Because we still have Revis at least.

Cardinals: Because we're still the reigning NFC Champs... Bitches.

Broncos: Because we all needed a serious boost to team stats.

Lions: Because in all honesty, we're probably better than the Bengals next year.

Browns: Because we fully intend on ruining someone's playoff hopes.

Cowboys: Because even when we lose, we're one step closer to a new coach... And that's a win.

Raiders: Because we're like a box of year-old chocolates...

Seahawks: Because we fully intend on being more mediocre than the Niners.

Dolphins: Because every team should get their own Super Bowl.

Eagles: Because Andy Reid doesn't care if Michael Vick isn't on your fantasy team.

Titans: Because Vince Young just isn't that good.

Buccaneers: Because who else can accumulate over 400 yards of offense and only score 6 points?

Bills: Because we're like the Raiders, only less dangerous.

Saints: Because we only embarrass teams when we're home.

Bengals: Because we're so one and done come playoff time.

Rams: Because the season really isn't over yet?

Chiefs: Because you try winning without a running back, wide receiver, of defense.

Texans: Because we've obviously given up on the season.

Vikings: Because it was only a matter of time until our BFF decided to show up.

Jaguars: Because are we really in playoff contention right now?

Falcons: Because for some reason we're still dumb enough to believe that the fate of our organization lies with a gimmick backup quarterback in Philadelphia, then with that white boy with the bad toe.

Packers: Because we're doing ourselves no favors by continuing to win.

Ravens: Because let's invent some fun, new ways to minimize the effectiveness of our best offensive player.