En Route: Standin'

So apparently lent is upon us or something, which is when this tax-free corporation peddling in fluff and assumption tries to make us give something or somethings up for 40 days in honor of sacrifice.  As in like, Oh my god, I don't know how I'm gonna go without french fries for the next 6 weeks.  Or like, man, not masturbating is gonna be tough, so I'm just gonna go out and get drunk and masturbate into someone's vagina/anus.  You know, the typical stuff.

Well tell you what, oh ye of questionable faith, there was once this great man whose name also began with a J.  He suffered greatly before his death but was none for doing great things before he died, most notably, winning a National Championship for a shitty southern school on the East Coast.  And before he died, he wanted to get his message across, namely that you need to live live to its fullest potential.  By soaking up and experiencing everything about it.  The pain, the joy, the details, your smallest day-to-day relationships, the sexually transmitted diseases, the meat on Fridays, hell, the meat at Friday's.  And while I cannot fully endorse that final proclamation, who am I to say otherwise?  But most importantly, this man provided us all a philosophy to which I stand by to this very day.  Namely, never give up.

Fucking EVER.

Alcohol?  Never.  Drugs?  Never.  Big Macs?  NEVER!  Masturbation?  Never ever... YOU HEAR ME?!?

Still not convinced?  Fine, I will give up something then.  For Lent, I'm giving up Lent.  Now back the fuck up and give me that filet.  I don't care what the day says.

Other things that should not be given up:

• Making completely inappropriate comments about co-workers (The Big Lead)
• Being really, really... REALLY creepy (The Sportress)
• Being bipolar?  And/or lying about being bipolar? (Free Darko)
• And of course, making terrible decisions (Zoner Sports)

Hey, that last one looked familiar...

Don't you go changin'!