One, Love

Oh, hey there, sweet thing... I can see that you're all ready to get this started.  I am happy about it, too.  But before we get to the now, let's talk a little bit about what things were like before we first met.  That can be fun.

I first saw you on the court.  No not at the US Open.  No, I've never been to France.  It was actually at the 4th district court in LA county.  I was there trying to beat a routine possession charge, and you were the trying to explain away that assault charge.  To this day, I'm still not sure how you got out of beating that girl on the tennis court, with your racket, in front of 700 spectators, but you did it, and I knew right from then that I just needed to have you.

Time would separate us, however.  Your talents would spread you across the world, your time consumed either by training, tournaments, and photoshoots, in and out of the arms of some of the most desirable celebrities during the rare free time you did come across.  That is, until we finally would meet again.  You had just gone through a bad breakup, I was just experiecing my first taste of fame when I was managing the pigs-in-a-blanket station at that Hollywood party.  You were coming off an upsetting defeat at the US Open and things were not going so well with your most recent love interest. You were hot, I was proximal, and we both had to use the bathroom at the same time... Fate.

I had never been choke-fucked before that night.  In fact, I had always assumed that it was the job of the man to choke-fuck the woman, most often a 38+ year old woman living in an warm, urban area.  But you... You taught me about the equality of the sexes.  That bigger is truly better.  And that pain during sex isn't always just for females.  Granted, you choke-fucked me (most likely by accident) with your vast, bulbous butt cheeks while you rode the pony in reverse, and maybe I did pass out before I had even had the opportunity to experience the joy moment, but, in those 6 to 8 seconds of consciousness, I new that I was home.

And maybe our divergent paths have led us away from one another in recent months.  With all of your success, the same kind of random, instense, and angry stress release just has not been required these days.  But maybe this little spark can get those fireworks going:  While you were busy winning out in Kangaroo country, I was consoling your sister... But before you get mad!  And by all means, that is the whole point of this seemingly foolish misstep, I just want you to remember how well you two work as a unit and as a team.

That's it, battlecat.  I am your wounded antelope carcass.  Now go for the neck and finish the job...  Venus, you are my Hyena.  Anything leftover is all yours, but I can't make any promises.

Now enough chit chat!  I'm still breathing, and I'm not sure why.  Take me to blackout paradise...

Love you, baby.  Happy...

Valentine's...

Dzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.............