En Route: Dashin'

In many ways, it is actually better to be a fan of the Browns or the Lions, than compared to say, the Jets or Broncos.  You see, fans of the Lions and Browns had no hope in the first place.  Sure, they cheered and supported their team regardless and at varying levels of consistency, but there were never any delusions.  For Jets or Broncos fans, fans fully believe that their teams had a shot at making the playoffs.  They still do to an extent, but we all know that it isn't going to happen.

Your honorable Security Officer, Deuce is in a similar boat in fantasy football.  The boat that is currently carrying the Jets and Broncos fans, that is.  For in Mama Gam Gam's Home-Cooked Queef Tarts League, Deucer is right on the brink of making the playoffs.  Indeed, The Pink-Eyed Peas are currently locked in a 5-way tie for 4th place, with 9th and 10th place only one loss away.  To say his season is on the brink, would be putting it nicely.

To put it another way, back before the white man invaded the Rockies, the men of the native Cheyenne would go on hunting expeditions.  Often times, these hunters would never even have to fire an arrow nor bloody a spear when it came to hunting buffalo.  Instead, they would simply corral the buffalo by sealing them off at the edge of a cliff.  Rather than rush the hunters, the buffalo would simply leap off the cliff to their doom. The Cheyenne would then simply descend to the lower elevation and collect the meat at the bottom of the cliff.

It's not suicide if you're forced into it.  And Romeo's Love Gun has every intention of bringing home the meat (eg. a clinched playoff spot) whether by force or persuasion.  So do yourself and myself a favor Pink-Eyed Willie and just concede now.  My fantasy warriors are hungry and in serious need of a bye week.  They extend their thanks in advance.

In lieu of fantasy concern this weekend, a recommend the following activities:

• You could always be a contributer (Highdeas.com)
• You could apply for the job at Notre Dame.  No one else wants it, apparently (Awful Announcing)
• You could always go AWOL.  Seems there are plenty of apologists out there for that behavior (Shoals)
• Or, you could put up a foolish, futile fight over it (With Leather)

But I recommend that you do what you would normally do, and that is to fuck yourself.

Update on Monday, y'all!