THE SHEET®: Week 9

Read between the sheets.

Now that we got that baseball garbage out of the way (By the way did you hear?  The Yankees won number 27?  Not sure what 27 means... Apparently before our parents were even born, guys we've never seen play won a championship or two, as well).  And now that that sideshow has concluded we are faced with stark, sober reality: we have officially reached the middle point of the football season.  And that sucks.

To be truthful, I begin to freak out in Week 2, worrying that there are only 16 weeks of football remaining, once the initial high of Week 1 wears off.  And to be fair, the initial high of Week 1 wears off as soon as I drop my first fantasy matchup.  Which is typically in week 1, as well.

Of course, there is plenty of football that remains.  And when you include the playoffs, the numbers of football weeks remaining, outnumbers those that have passed us by.  However, this is merely a small dose of Alprazolam with which to defend against the ultra-anxiety induced by the barren months that follow completion of the NFL season in February.  Needless to say, the prescription is inadequate and I'M FREAKING OUT!!!

Breathe... Fantasy playoffs... Cheerleaders... Tom Brady... Drunk Sundays... Giving way to mandatory wake n bake Mondays... Breathe.

Take a hit... Be somebody, baby.