32 Things

As you may or may not have noticed, this blog is strongly biased toward two things in life: football and music.  We try to unify the two in print as well as we do in our own minds, but these things do not necessarily translate all that well when traveling between the abstract to the tangible.  But this new segment appears to be prepped for success and understanding.  It combines our favorite sport with one of our favorite songs and the two get along just fine, even if it is also combined with one of our least favorite things; NFL recap posts.  Regardless, it's 32 Things!

32 Things - moe.

Panthers: Ahm... What do you guys think you're doing?

Cowboys: This team is diametrically linked to the Giants; the worse the Giants look, the better the Cowboys fare.

Jets: They mirror their coach!  So right now, they're all sitting on their couches, hungover, hungry, and sad. 

Chargers: And still they are unable to inspire any sense of confidence in their fans.

Packers:  Soooo, still haven't sorted out that offensive line issue yet huh?   Now would be a good time.

Niners:  How ironic is it that Alex Smith will finish out this season as the starting quarterback, only so they can trade up in the draft to take Colt McCoy?

Jaguars: You let Vince Young do what?  Wow...

Steelers: 8 weeks in and the Bengals run the show in the division. Must be odd for you guys.

Bills:  You scared me for a little while there!  But then I remembered that you lost to the worst team in football, and while I got confident, you got trounced.

Raiders: Does Tom Cable beat you guys after the game, too?

Lions: Yeah, probably a bad idea to mark Calvin Johnson down as "questionable" if you're not going to play him.  The word is "doubtful" and it's there for your convenience... Assholes.

Seahawks: You have, quite possibly, the BEST possession receiver in the game and you get him 4 touches?  Nice scheme, guys.

Patriots: Ladies and gentlemen, your default AFC East champions!

Bears: The best team in the league... Against the worst teams in the league.

Browns: Sigh...

Cardinals: This week the entire team will undergo psych evaluations to confirm whether or not Schizophrenia is truly a possibility.

Titans: Jeff Fischer, even with the win, is in a worse position than before.

Dolphins: Fuckers still can't catch, but they can run...

Rams: Hey!  You're at least as good as the Browns!  Let's party!

Giants: Fine.  The Yankees are going to win the World Series.  But you'll still suck afterward.

Chiefs:  Faggots.

Broncos:  I mean, come on, it was only a matter of time.

Buccaneers: New week.  New quarterback. Who gives a shit?

Redskins: This team still exists huh?  How unfortunate.

Ravens: The AFC North could be the most interesting division in the league in the second half.  

Texans: Who the shit is Ryan Moats?

Bengals: If there's a team primed for a second-half leftown, it's a Marvin Lewis' coached team.

Colts: Sneaky best team in the league?

Eagles: Daaaaaamn.  This team went from methodical to lightning-strike in the span of one year.

Vikings: Ladies and Gentlemen, your runaway NFC North champions.

Falcons: A loss would really keep the Wild Card race interesting.

Saints: Cover. That. Spread.